Loyalty

Chapter 14: Confrontation.

A/N: So, there's a bit of a time jump again. (It's around August now, so a few months have passed since the last chapter). I'm sorry if it's getting a little confusing...But this should be the last time I skip, at least for a while. But  I really hope you guys like this chapter! I put a lot of effort into this one.

Brian's POV

Ever since my health scare, Jess and I have grown further apart. And I know it's all my fault. I pushed her away because I didn't want the person I care about the most to see me in that much pain. Also, I knew that she would do anything for me if I had asked. That's just the type of person Jess is. She probably would've quit her job to take care of me. But I didn't want her to do anything crazy like that. I didn't want her to rearrange her life for me. I never wanted to see how bad I got, and how sick I really was. I couldn't let her see me like that. Part of me was just trying to protect her, and her feelings.

But there was another part of me that pushed her away for a different, and more selfish, reason. This is the woman that I've been in love with since the day I met her. But she's never felt the same way about me, and she never will. Sometimes it was painful to be around Jess. She would always go above and beyond for me, and I knew that me being sick would be no exception. I thought that watching her be somewhat of a caretaker for me, would've put me over the edge. I would've seen how caring and sweet she'd be, and it would cause me to fall even deeper in love with her if that's even possible.

Jess had called, texted, and even come to visit multiple times throughout my illness. I knew that I was hurting her by pushing her away. I had damaged, or maybe even destroyed, our tight bond. When I had gotten better, I had tried to mend our broken friendship. I knew that when I called her drunk, she wouldn't have been able to refuse picking me up. Even if our friendship wasn't as strong as it once was, she would always be there for me. I guess I tried to take advantage of her kindness and generosity in order to bring us closer again. But afterward, Jess became more distant.

The night before I broke up with Lexi, Jess said, "I chose you." That really got to me. And I hated hearing her saying that she WAS my best friend. Past tense. I never wanted that to go away, and I was so stupid for letting my relationship and feelings for Jess get in the way of our friendship.

After breaking up with Lexi, I thought Jess and I would've resumed our normal friendship. I thought that by removing the cancer in my life, it would've made my relationship with Jess healthier. But that wasn't the case. Jess was pulling further away from me, and I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I had to at least try to do something about it. I couldn't give up. I couldn't let her get away that easily, without putting up a fight.

I knew things were bad when she almost didn't come to see us at Radio City Music Hall. The guys and I had sold out three nights at Radio City, which was a huge deal for us. As four New Yorkers, even more special to sell out one of New York's most iconic venues. it was It was the biggest accomplishment in our careers. From the day Impractical Jokers premiered, Jess said she was my biggest fan. And she wasn't kidding, or just trying to be nice. She truly loved the show. So, of course, I had to invite her to see us perform at the biggest shows of our lives. But it took some convincing. Jess came up with some excuses at first, but ultimately she couldn't pass up seeing us perform at Radio City.

Jess would come around every once in a while, but it wasn't the same. She didn't have that same light in her eyes. I've tried to be there for her. I tried to ask her what's wrong, and if there was something I could do to fix it. But she wouldn't let me in. She would always push it aside and claim that she was just tired and busy with work. Jess always tried to be so strong. But she put up a wall, and never wanted to let anyone know if she was hurting.