Loyalty

Chapter 28: Overreacting?

Brian's POV

When I left Jessica's house that night, I felt conflicted. On one hand, I do think she should've told me about this a long time ago, or at least once we started dating. But on the other hand, maybe I was too hard on her. Jess is clearly dealing with a lot right now, and I should be there to help her through it. I should've been more supportive. Jess has been there for me during some of my darkest moments. And instead of comforting her during her time of need, I yelled at her and stormed off.

The part that hurt me the most about this whole situation is the thought that Jess didn't want to share something with me. She didn't think she could confide in me. I thought we had open communication in our relationship, but I guess I was wrong. I thought I could tell her anything because I trusted her with my life. But for some reason, she didn't trust me with this information, and I didn't know why. She says it's because she didn't want to worry me, but now she has me more worried than anything.

After I sat in my car and cooled down a bit, I decided to go over to Sal's. I needed someone to vent to, and I needed some advice. I needed to know if I was overreacting, or if my feelings were justified. Was I being crazy?

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I went over to Sal's, unannounced, and told him everything that happened with Jess. From overhearing Jess on the phone and thinking she was pregnant, to everything that happened once I confronted her.

"Wow," he said, probably overwhelmed by all the details I had just told him.

"So what do you think?" I asked.

"Dude, you know I love you. But you're being a dick about this," Sal admitted. I was a little surprised that as my friend, he didn't take my side. But at least I know that I can always count on him to be honest with me.

"Really? Don't you think she should've told me about this? After everything we've been through together?" I asked him.

"Sure, I think she should have told you. But you're blowing this totally out of proportion. Why are you getting so upset about this?"

"She gave me so much shit for not telling her when I was sick. After all that, I thought she would've told me if she was sick. I thought we'd be able to trust each other. I don't know why she would hide something like this from me," I told Sal.

"Brian, think about that for a second. Why did you push her away when you were sick? Why didn't you tell her?" Sal asked.

"Because I loved her too much to ever want her to see me like that. I didn't want her to think I was weak. She didn't need to be so worried about me..."

"And... she probably feels the same way about her situation. I don't think she kept this from you because she doesn't trust you. I think she was just trying to protect you, and your feelings. I don't believe this is something she did maliciously. She's just not like that." Sal tried to explain to me.

At that moment, I started to recognize how similar Jess and I are. We've both tried to protect each other's feelings, especially when it came to our health issues. Ultimately, we both did it out of love, even if we ended up hurting each other. I understood how hurt Jess must have been when I kept my illness from her and pushed her away. It's painful when someone you love is suffering, but they won't let you help them

"I just panicked," I told him.

It was the only way I could explain the way I reacted. When Jess told me all this information at once, I didn't know how to process it. I was already so caught up in this angry rage, first thinking that she was pregnant or that she was cheating on me. Maybe I was just looking for any reason to justify my anger.