Loyalty

Chapter 26: Suspicious.

Brian's POV

Since I asked Jess to move in with me, I would've expected our relationship to improve, and for us to grow closer. By living with her, I was solidifying my commitment to her, even though she was practically spending every night at my house anyway. In the past, I was unwilling to make this kind of commitment to any woman, especially after I was engaged. But Jess was different. She wasn't just ANY woman. She was THE woman. The woman of my dreams. My best friend. The woman I planned on making my wife one day.

But things didn't get better after I asked her to live with me. In fact, they got worse. Jess became distant, and not the cheerful, but sarcastic woman I fell in love with. I tried to figure out why, and the only reason I could come up with was our impending living situation. It seemed as though she was trying to delay the moving process. She kept coming up with excuses.

Maybe Jess wasn't as excited as I was to be living together. Maybe I pushed it on her, and she wasn't ready. Maybe she didn't know how to tell me, so instead of just telling me the truth, she became distant. All these thoughts were going through my head, but I didn't feel like I had a true answer. When I cautiously asked Jess if anything was wrong, she would always blow it off and act like everything was fine. But that was typical of Jess. She always tried to act strong, and pretend like everything was fine, even if she was struggling.

I knew she was hiding something, I just didn't know what it was. I should've asked her more questions, but I was afraid of what the answer would be. I was afraid that she didn't actually want to move in with me, and that I was invested deeper into this relationship than she was. It's something that I've always feared: Was I more in love with her than she was in love with me?

I kept thinking of all the other possible explanations for her odd behavior. Another clue was that she started to become shady when it came to her cell phone. If she got a text, she would turn away, not wanting me to see it. And there were times where she'd be talking on the phone to somebody, but she would end the call when I entered the room. Every time I asked her about it, she would just blow it off like it was nothing, and make another excuse. This led to my biggest fear... that she could be cheating on me. I thought about how easy it would be for her to have another guy, or girl, around considering how often I was away on tour. I always wondered how a beautiful woman like Jess could be satisfied with a slob like me. I tried to reassure myself that Jess would never do something like that to me... right? But I was starting to lose trust in her, knowing that she was hiding SOMETHING from me.

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I went over to her place after work, but I had gotten off a little early. She wasn't expecting me to be back yet. When I rang the doorbell, there was no answer. I let myself in, as I have done many times before, and I cautiously entered her home. I heard her talking, but I didn't hear anyone else's voice. It sounded like it was coming from the bedroom, so I followed her voice. I overheard Jess talking on the phone, so I was basically just eavesdropping at this point. I couldn't tell who Jess was talking to, but she sounded very frantic.

"No, Brian doesn't know about it yet... Because he has way too much going on right now, and I don't want to worry him for no reason," Jess said.

So, there was something she was hiding. I did feel slightly guilty for listening in on her conversation, but I felt like it might be the only way that I could get some answers to explain her recent behavior.

"I know, Bessy. I've been trying to take care of myself like you said..."

Well, at least I know who she's talking to. But it still didn't explain why she's been acting so strange lately...

"I booked the ultrasound for tomorrow morning... I hope not. It's just a precaution but I have missed my last four periods."

Ultrasounds. Missed periods. Jess was pregnant. That was the only possible explanation, right? It would explain why she's been acting so detached lately. My heart sunk, and I panicked thinking about the future Jess and I would have. Both Jess and I agreed that we didn't want children. We just wanted to be married one day, and have lots of animals. But this changes everything. I wasn't ready to be a father, and I would never be ready. It's just not something I wanted in my life. And I thought that Jess didn't want to be a mother either. I didn't understand how this could happen. Jess said she was on the pill, so as far as I knew, we were being responsible with our sec life. I guess birth control wasn't 100% foolproof, but still. I didn't understand how...

And then, all of sudden, it hit me. The thing most alarming about what Jess said. It wasn't that she was having an ultrasound, or that she's been missing her period. It's the fact that she's missed FOUR periods...But we had only been together for three months.

That meant either I wasn't the father of this child, or there was something else going on. But all signs seemed to point to her being pregnant. It's not like Jess ever gave me a detailed history of the people she's slept with. But she told me that I was the first guy she's been with in a very long time. Since I've met her, I've only known her to date women. But I didn't know what to believe anymore.

Did this make things better? That still meant that Jess was pregnant, but I wasn't the father. So, it shouldn't have been my responsibility anymore. But somehow that didn't make me feel any better. I didn't think I wanted to raise a child, let alone one that wasn't even mine. But was that worth giving up on Jess, after everything we've been through together, and everything it took for us to get together? Was she worth it? I love this woman with all my heart, and I was not willing to give up that easily. I still loved her, and I still wanted to be with her.

Of all the possible scenarios explaining Jessica's odd behavior, I was not expecting this at all. All I knew was, I couldn't keep listening to this phone conversation anymore. I needed to confront Jess face to face, and get some answers. I opened the bedroom door, startling Jess. She turned around, looking pale as a ghost, obviously not expecting to see me.

"I have to go," she said, before quickly hanging up the phone.

"Brian... I... I didn't know you would be here... I..." she said nervously, struggling to find the words to explain herself. Jess looked panicked when she saw me, clearly not ready to share this information with me.

"I think there's something you need to tell me," I said to her, letting her know I was listening. But she didn't know how much of the conversation I heard.

"You should probably sit down," Jess said. She pointed to the bed, instructing me to sit, and I obliged.

"Jessica, you need to tell me what's going on, right now," I demanded.

Even though I had basically figured out what was happening, I wanted to hear it from her directly.

"Before I tell you, I just want you to know that I love you, and I've only kept this from you because I didn't want it to hurt you," she tried to tell me, but I didn't want to hear it.

"JESSICA, stop. Just spit it out," I demanded. I couldn't take her dragging it out anymore. I just wanted to know the truth.

"It's not what you think, Brian," she swore. But instead of waiting for her to explain herself, I just flat out addressed it.

"You're pregnant..."