numb.

1:29

sometimes i wonder if you still think i'm beautiful. i wonder if a part of you still loves me, even though you're with her now. a part of me still loves you because you were my best friend. i don't care that you stopped wanting me, i don't care that you couldn't tell me the truth from the beginning, i don't care that you hurt me. you made me smile every single day, i don't think there was a moment where i wasn't laughing or smiling when i was with you. you made me feel beautiful and important. you gave me confidence and strength. the way you used to look at me, that little sparkle that would appear in your eye. i knew that you loved me. you gave me goosebumps. and every time you would kiss me i'd have to take a moment to catch my  breath. you tasted like spearmint. and you will never understand how much i miss you, especially during rainy days, because it brings me back to our first unofficial date. when we sat on that bench for hours listening to each other until i was so cold i couldn't breathe and then you hugged me so tightly - i can still feel your arms wrapped around me. you told me you were starving so we went to subway and you forced me to eat too, even though i swore i wasn't hungry. and then you laughed at me for eating it with a fork. i wish we could have had more nights like that one. but you'll never know this. you'll never know what it's like to lose you. you'll never know how many nights i spent crying, thinking, tearing myself apart. and you'll never know that i wrote this. but i don't care, you're happier now. you smile wider and you laugh more. i don't care that you stopped loving me because you made my heart happy and no one has ever done that before.
-kenzie

"i think it's time to let you go, it's time to let your heart find a home."