Painful

Friends

"I don't want to go" I repeated. "I know" Nate said while he was still hugging me. He let go of me and leaded me to the garden. I sat down on a chair and he sat beside me. "I know how you feel" I chook my head and looked up "I was a soldier too". I looked at him with questioning look. "Seriously?! Why were you dismissed? If I may ask" I said. "I was badly injured and stopped afterwards. How about you?" I looked at the ground "me too. Apparently I was the only survivor, but I can't remember my past". Nate listened carefully to me. And I started to explain everything, "I woke up in the hospital 2 months ago, not remembering anyone or anything. I didn't even remember Jason. I was in a coma for two whole months. The doctors said it wasn't sure if I was going to get my memories back. But I did... When I tackled the guy that day, I got my first memory back. I remember things when I do or see something similar to the memory. I started to remember all my teammates and friends that died and now I have to go back.." my voice began to tremble. "I don't know if I still can do it, I don't want to loose anyone else I care about" "it's alright we all lost some people" Nate said giving me a hug again. "I'm so sorry usually I'm not emotional, but I blame the wine this time" Nate chuckled "definitely the wine!". "Are you planning to go back?" I sighed and looked around me "I don't have a choice, do I?". Nate put his hand on his head and started nervously walk trough my garden. "I guess we should give you a great time then while you're still with us" he said, while looking at me. "What do you have in mind?" "You won't forget these seven days. I promise" I glared at him and he smiled.
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The next day I arrived at the bakery earlier and ordered my coffee. I explained everything to Rosie and Alex and they reacted positively, although you could see that they had tears in their eyes, especially Rosie. "I have faith in you darling. You'll do a great job as always, but please stay alive" Rosie gave me a tight hug "I will" I responded. "There goes my mate" Alex said sad. I let go of Rosie and walked towards Alex "I'm still here" she gave me a fast hug. "Damn,you guys are acting like I'm going to die" they exchanged a look, but I ignored it. "I'm going now. I still haven't told Jason" I wove them goodbye and went over to the police station.

I texted Jason to come downstairs and waited on the stairs. I felt someone looking at me and turned around. Jason stood there and looked at me as if he untrusted me. "What's going on? You used to have bad news when you told me something on the stairs". I signed that he should take a seat next to me and so he did. "Actually I do have bad news" Jason looked at me expectedly. "I'm going back to the army" I was straight to the point. His eyes widened "what? No! Why?" He said "yesterday night I got orders to come back in seven days" "then why didn't you call me?". I looked to the ground "I was with Mia, Luke and Nate and afterwards I was tired" Jason sighed deeply. "Do they know?" He asked "no, only Nate knows and I know about Nate. Mia and Luke went off earlier and I stayed behind with Nate". Jason nodded and asked "how long will you be gone?" "I don't know they didn't gave me any information". It was silent for a while and I looked at the people walking upwards and past the stairs. "I'll miss you pumpkin" Jason said and he looked at me proudly. I smiled "I'll miss you too chief" he stood up and so did I, he gave me a hug. I looked up and noticed Nate he smiled and walked into the building. "We got work to do officer" "yes, sir" we chuckled and walked into the building. With Jason's arm wrapped around me.

"Turn the lights off please!" I heard Mia moaning. I walked to the lab and saw her and the guys, they were laughing at her. "Don't be so rude guys, having a hangover on work is bad enough" I said while I held my laugh. I gave her the coffee I was holding "thank you Emma. That's why I like you, you'll always have my back". "I'm going to the shooting range are you coming along?" I asked Nate. "Yeah sure I'll be right behind you" I nodded and walked away turning the light off behind me.

I grabbed my gun, bullets and hearing protector. I went over to the range and took my position. I begun to shoot and hit all the targets. "Well done" I heard and looked behind me "maybe you're even going to win tonight" Nate said. "Tonight?" I didn't understand what he was talking about. "The team is going to paintball. I did promise to make these days count" I laughed "that won't be necessary" "why? don't you like paintball?" He asked insecure. "No, no, no that's not it. I just don't think it's necessary to put effort in me" Nate started laughing "believe me, you'll be there Emma". I rolled my eyes and started shooting again.

Seven hours later I was home, changing my outfit. When I was ready I waited in the garden. It's really sweet that the team wants to do something together. I guess Nate told Mia and Luke already. 'Ring' the bell went off and I grabbed my bag and keys. I opened the door and saw Nate. "Are you ready?" He asked "I'm always ready". Nate grinned and shut the door behind me. I walked over to his car and sat down on the front seat. He sat down too and drove off. When we arrived at the play hall we went inside I looked around me. It was big there were many games and in the distance I could see big letters spell 'paintball'. I noticed someone was waving and looked in that direction. It was Mia she was there standing with Luke, Jason and.. Alex?  A smile appeared on my face when I saw all my friends. I looked up at Nate "thank you" I whispered and I quickly walked to the others. I gave them a hug "Alex, I'm so happy that you're here too" "me too" she said. I smiled happily "shall we?" I asked.

We went over to the paintball department and a man gave us our clothes, guns, helmet and rules. It was Nate, Alex and Jason vs Luke, Mia and me. We all hid and the count down started. '3, 2, 1, bzzz!' I glared to the other side and saw Jason change his spot I shot, but missed. I moved forward to another place and saw Luke and Mia doing the same. I heard some footsteps and was ready too shoot. I ran and shot Nate and Alex. Nate shot me too and I quickly hid again. This went on for a while and at the end my team won. It felt great to do this. Everyone was good, especially Jason and Nate. "Well done Emma!" I heard Jason say "you are really good". I chuckled "thank you! But we all know that I have experience" Jason put his arm around me as we entered the play hall. "I'm hungry. Shall we go to a restaurant or something?" Jason said. We all agreed. "I know a nice place in the area" Alex said "it's not so far from here and the food is delicious". We went to the cars. Alex went with Jason, Mia with Luke and I with Nate. We all followed Jason's car.

"So did you enjoy paintball?" Nate asked. I looked at him "I really did. Thank you so much". Nate looked away from the road to me and smiled "it's just the beginning" I smiled back and blushed a little. "Why are you blushing?" He asked. I looked away "I'm not blushing" "yes, you are" "I'm not!". I hid my face in my hands "stop it!" I whispered "I'm just teasing you" Nate said laughing. I gave him a little push. we started talking again and after a little while we arrived at the place. We parked and got out of the car.

We were standing in front of a big building with the letters 'Vapiano'. We started laughing "I thought we were going to some crazy, unknown restaurant," Mia said "but this is so much better!" "I know right!". Alex and Mia walked as some happy little kids to the building holding onto each other and the rest followed them. We took our seats and looked at the menu, but I noticed that Mia and Alex didn't. "Aren't you choosing something?" I asked "I already know what to choose. I want.." "pizza!" They said at the same time. "Damn girl. You have taste!" Alex said "you too!" I laughed at their reaction while the boys just looked at each other as if they were saying 'they're crazy!'. We all ordered something and after a while we all had our food in front of us. After a long conversation about life we were all finished with our food.

"Will we see you again?" I suddenly heard and I looked up. I looked up and saw Mia looking at me with a sad face.  "Mia.." Luke said as some kind of warning. "I don't know" I told her. I mean I can't keep lying to myself, there is a chance that I won't see them again. Everyone was silent and looking at their plate and I sighed deep. "Maybe you could all give me a picture of you and I will take it with me.. if you guys want too" I suggested. Jason smiled at me and Alex said "only if we get a picture of you" "sure" I answered. I looked at Luke and he was smiling at me, but his smile disappeared when he looked to the other side of the table. I followed his eyes and saw Nate, he looked sad and disappointed. I don't know why but it touched me really, really bad to see him like this. I felt noxious "I have to go to the bathroom" I said and stood up. I went over to the bathroom and leaned against the wall with my head. I know this feeling and I don't want to have it. I'm falling in love with him. My eyes were tearing up. I'm falling in love with someone I won't see again. I can't do this! I put myself together and sighed one more time. I walked back to the others and saw them putting on their jackets. Nate gave me mine and helped me put it on "thank you" "no problem".

We all said goodbye and left. I leaned at the window and looked outside, it was silent in the car. I played nervously with my keys, but little did I know I was tired so I dozed off...

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XOXO,
The author.