A Royal Mess

21. Forgiveness

Freak out!

I agree with my brain on this one so, "Alexius!!I...I don't get it.What do I do?What do I think?Does this mean I forgive him?Does this make what he did right?.." I huff all this in a single breath by the end of which I am panting.

"Calm down, cupcake. Breathe! Come, sit here and then tell me everything. What happened?" Alexius inquires, a little worried after my outburst.

He takes me by my shoulders and makes me sit on his bed. Jenna sits beside me, knowing full well that I am not here to talk to her. Right now, I just need my brother. So she simply keeps a reassuring hand on my shoulder and remains silent. Alexius sits in front of me on the floor ready to listen to whatever I have to say, a worried look adorning his features.

I tell them everything father told me and wait for Alex to tell me what to do.

"Princess, that's.. wow! Yeah I know it's too much to process. I did not know anything about that day. Well not everything. I was so small. I don't even remember. But I guess I see why they had made that decision, now. I guess it's still not completely justifiable but a bit more understandable." Alex gets a faraway look of his own, processing everything I just told him.

"What do you mean? You stayed here didn't you? And you are absolutely safe."

"Lex, you don't get it do you? Your safety wasn't the only reason you couldn't be here. Your happiness mattered so much to them that they were even prepared to sacrifice theirs." I gaze at him confusedly while he continues, "All these years I have been locked in this palace. I couldn't step out alone ever. You can't imagine how that was. It's like living in a prison cell." He winces painfully, "Salvador did become weak after the invasion though. His throne was taken away and Ilias became one of our allies. But he still had other allies. Weak or not he could still harm us if we made even a single mistake. Mom and dad did everything they could to ease my longing but throwing balls or inviting other royal families was as far as they could go. Even when we went on vacations which lasted less than 2 days or to markets it was just us and the Royal guards. The whole place had to be evacuated. That's how much security I had to live in. Do you think I was happy? No! I know how troubled father is that he couldn't give me any freedom. He thinks he failed as a father. Only after last year when Salvador died was I allowed to go to football practices, etc. I can't tell you what I'd give to have had the life you did. Free to go anywhere, make your own decisions, high school, parties, normality. That's what they gave you. And for that they sacrificed their own child. Sent her away. Do you think that was easy? I know mom and dad are crazy. This royal family ain't normal, but when you are forced to find happiness in so much darkness, you got no option but to light your own self sometimes. They are great parents, really. Funny, supportive, loving, kind, generous and what not. I really appreciate having them. You should just give them a chance." I hug my brother tight, so tight that he starts chuckling with breathlessness.
These people have gone through so much and yet here they are. They try to stay happy, continue to fulfil their responsibilities to this kingdom.

I sigh. I guess he has a point. "What about Archer and the betrothal?"

He gives me a sheepish look, "That might actually be because of me."

"Huh?" I am confused yet again.

Alex runs a hand through his ginger hair and elaborates, "When I was 16, about two years ago, the royal family of Arizona visited us. Their crown princess, Kristine, was about my age. I hadn't met many girls in my life by then, so having her live with us felt alien to me. We quickly became friends and slowly I named that alien attraction that I felt, due to never having had such an encounter before, 'love'. I told mom and dad and they were very happy that I got the chance to choose someone for myself. One day I walked to her room because I was ready to tell her how I felt. As I entered though, I saw her kissing her bodyguard." He chuckles sarcastically, "I was shattered. I felt like I would never have a chance at love again, I will forever be alone in this palace. I went into depression, locked myself in my room, didn't eat, didn't talk, didn't take my lessons. Dad couldn't take it anymore and he agreed to let me stay in my room on the condition that he'd be there with me. Everyday he made me do activities and then taught me lessons out of them, gave me advise. At night he slept holding me, making me feel that I was loved and cared for. Slowly, I recovered. I saw that she wasn't the end of my world. Hell! I hadn't even seen the world yet. I wasn't in love with her. It was just longing. There are so many girls out there that could easily be the one." He looks thoughtfully towards Jenna and sighs. "But I think that incident has left dad with a lesson too. He thinks if given the choice you may end up opening your heart to the wrong guy and so he fears you might go through what I did or something even worse and I think after everything that has happened to you, he blames himself for, he doesn't want this on you too. And frankly speaking, Archer is the most sensible choice. He really is a good match. Not because you are similar to each other instead in many ways you are quite the opposites, but if you just gave him a little chance, maybe you'll see why dad thinks he fits." Alexius pleads.