A Royal Mess

26. Feelings

Everything you are comes from your choices.

I turn to Ace and I see him talking to Rose. I slowly make my way towards them and know he has seen me because the next second he holds her hands and looks deeply into her eyes.

The nerve of this guy! What is he thinking, trying to get me jealous like that.

My brain and I finally agree on something. When I reach them I clear my throat to make my presence known. Rose immediately jumps apart blushing while Ace stands behind her smirking. The jerk!

"Rose if you don't mind can I talk to Ace in private for a while. It won't take long, I promise." I smile politely at her.

"Sure, no problem, after all he is your best friend." Was that a jab? Well, I'll let it slide cause I have better things to focus on right now.

I take Ace's hand and guide him to the garden.

"So..I heard you talking to Archer earlier." I say as we find a bench to sit on, by the fountain.

"Lex, I know I may have sounded like a jerk, but hear me out. Since the day you bumped into me I've tried everything to get you out of my head, but it's like you didn't just bump into me, you bumped right into my heart, my life. Then out of nowhere a real life Prince Charming with the last name knight in shining armour comes along saying sweet words and winning you penguins to take you away. How do you think I feel? This whole week I've been going through hell knowing I'm so far away while he's here probably trying to do whatever in his power to steal my best friend." Ace finishes agitatedly, running a hand through his smooth hair.

A lot of pieces fall together, the puzzle finally makes some sense as I solve the most important question of the crossword, "Yes Ace, that's who I am. I'm your best friend. I'm the someone who is always going to be with you no matter what. You can always rely on me to be weird and crazy with. I don't know how to explain it you, I just know we were always meant to be friends." The look on Ace's face can only be described as stricken. I place a comforting hand over his and wrap them together tightly.  Old me would have never had the guts to do this but the new me isn't scared of changes anymore. Whatever happens now, I know I can deal with it. I'll wait for my best friend as long as he wants if that's what I have to do.

I try to further explain my decision, "Even if I ever tell Archer how I feel, I know there is a possibility he and I may not be forever. I have hope for us but it may not necessarily last. You on the other hand? Best friends are forever. We never lose them. The love best friends share is unique. Things change, you can meet new people and try new things but when you love someone like we love each other you never stop caring for them. I know this is too much, too hard to accept. You may be at battle with your mind and heart about your feelings. It's for me too." My eyes feel just as heavy as my heart and I hold onto Ace's hands like my life depends on it.

He stays silent for so long that I become more and more scared by each passing second. I think about the way he looks at me with protectiveness and adoration, his expressions so familiar to Alexius's when he looks at me endearingly in the same way. This is what Ace is to me. He is and always will be my go to person and partner in crime.

"I...Lexi..I don't know what to say or even what to think right now." I sigh in relief when he finally speaks up even though his voice is almost a whisper. I hang on to every word he says, "You know there are only a few people in this world, we'd gladly even give up our life for. For me, you are one of them. I will find my way back to you, always, that is something I can promise you wholeheartedly." He croaks out. His dark eyes are sad and his expression broken.

His answer may have been blunt but he is still struggling. I know it will take time for him to fully accept that the love he feels for me is a kind of sisterly affection, maybe. At least I hope, it will make this a lot easier if it is.