Rugged To The Core

Chapter 50

Song For Chapter: Dreams (Cover) By Ruti.

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Abel

There is light at the end of the tunnel...

     As far as he was concerned, the idiom was pure gibberish. Whomever had come up with it wasn't only the biggest hypocrite but also the most delusional. There was no light at the end of the bloody tunnel, he would know because he'd been blindly clawing at the walls for twenty-two years; anxiously searching for a way out of the darkness.

     Happiness was really an illusion, one virtually had to ignore their problems for a while just to feel happy but it never lasts because after that, sadness strikes. It all comes surging in, like a car whose brake has been cut, It's got no control and It's on an apparent collision course with your body. When it hits you, it rips every muscle in your body to pieces — fibre by fibre — and It drains the energy from within you so all you become is a zombie, wandering and craving once again, the very same happiness you once felt. It's the same old cycle, nothing lasts forever.

     Regardless of how hard you try to drown your demons, they would always resurface and pull you down with them, you could never keep them at bay for long. Ergo, there couldn't be light at the end of the tunnel, there were only rays of sunlight beaming through from the cracks above and then it was back to the darkness.

     Reality could really be such a killjoy, it always struck when you least expected it, reminding you hope and dreams weren't enough but hard-work and perseverance were essential to success, to a better life. Perseverance, he hated that word just as much as he hated the tunnel idiom. Perhaps, It was because he was feeble and he lacked the faith, so it felt sardonic to hear the word. But Temilola had dared him to persevere, she had said golds were forged in fire to become jewels but he didn't feel golden, he felt like a mash of clay, trampled on time after time again. He felt so insecure, so insignificant.

But what does she see in me?

What does she want from me?

Why does she always make me feel worth my weight in gold?

     Abel interlocked his fingers, cupping the water before proceeding to bury his face in the water, washing it all over again. He then raked his hands into his hair, massaging his scalp before placing both hands against the tiled wall. He leaned down, watching water trickle down the bridge of his nose. He aimlessly stayed under the shower for a quarter of an hour, thinking about everything, his fears, paranoia and his uncertain future and his crippling past.

     Abel thought about his best friend and somehow felt the need to snort something or at least smoke a joint. He was never an addict but he had decided to quit smoking three years ago, he seldom even drank now. It was never his style, he'd only started because his friend had offered to him. They would smoke weed together, ranting about everything that was wrong in their lives till they passed out.

Ah, Femi... Just how are you? I hope you're doing good.

     Abel turned off the shower and stepped out of the bath-tub, onto the mat. He grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his hips. He began sauntering out of the bathroom but stopped when he caught sight of a figure across the bathroom. His brows sank and his face hardened into a glare.

Hey there, dad...

     Abel hated looking in the mirror because he always saw his father, staring right back at him. It irritated him, it made him feel like he still lived within him. He didn't want to be Amadi Akubueze's son, he wanted to be Abel Ejiofor, an eagle. He wanted to soar, touch the skies, he wanted to feel the wind against his face and race till he got to paradise.