Rugged To The Core

Chapter 71

Song for chapter: Beautiful Thing By Grace Vanderwaal.

"We make hours turn into seconds together.
The weight of the world feels like a feather
'cause we're holding it right in our hands."

- - -

Abel

She wouldn't say anything. She hadn't said a word since they'd settled on the sofa, which was approximately ten minutes ago. He would occasionally avert his gaze to the wall-clock. When they'd entered the house, he'd guided her to the sofa and then an awkward moment ensued. He'd squatted before her and had began wiping her tears away. She had simply remained still. Then he'd felt her watching him and realised he still didn't have a shirt on. He'd been working out when he'd gone to check who was at the gate. When he saw her, there was no time to go back inside to wear a shirt, he'd been so surprised and saw that she didn't look well at all so he'd opened the gate. He had tried not let it get to him that she'd been conspicuously running her eyes over the length of his body. It had begun to fuel something inside of him but he'd suppressed it knowing the moment wasn't right.

Now donning a shirt, Abel shifted in discomfort and continued watching his shortie. They were at the opposite ends of the sofa, the distance was a tad dramatic but he thought it was necessary, he did want her feeling uncomfortable.

Okay, if she doesn't start talking in...

"So I've been thinking..." She started in a much thicker voice. She ran the back of her hand under her nostrils, sniffing. "I initially thought it was my dad but now I'm thinking it's my mum. Or maybe even both of them."

She paused then continued.

"I think I'm adopted."

Can't say it hasn't crossed my mind...

"I have to be. That's the only possible explanation. I have to be, I have to be." She kept thrusting her index finger downwards for emphasis. "Somewhere, somewhere in this world my parents... my real parents have got to be regretting giving me away."

It killed him to see her this way. He saw a tear fall from her eye, landing on her thigh. He cautiously scooted closer.

"They probably didn't mean to. Maybe they weren't ready to have kids..."

"Lucky... "Abel scooted even closer and reached out to grab her by the arm but the instant his palms touched the fabric of her sweater, she shrugged him off and he instantly withdrew.

"Or... or..." She continued with her theories, he didn't think she realised she'd started crying again. The tears fell so easily this time, so rapidly. "... maybe they're poor people." She turned to him. "Like dirt poor. And they had no money at all. They couldn't afford to raise a child with little to nothing, they probably loved me too much." That was when the sob actually came out. "But they had to give me away."

Having had enough, Abel audaciously cupped her face in her hands, holding her gaze. "Hey, stop this, okay? Don't do this to yourself. You're inflicting more pain on yourself. You can't fall apart now, you can't pity yourself now." He swiped her tears away with the pad of his thumbs. "You hear me? You can't pity yourself now."

"My mother hates me just as much as my father." She whispered as her face morphed into a pained expression. A lone vein materialised on her forehead. "She said I was a problem. Not just anyone but the... most... insignificant one." She frantically blinked as more tears fell. "Just like my father, she doesn't love me. And it hurts..." She began to sob now. "It hurts, it hurts to even... look in their eyes. Because I'm scared of what I might see." Her voice climbed an octave. "There's nothing! No affection in their eyes. Nothing pretty. With my dad it's worse because I do see something — pure resentment. And my mum, I see a mixture of pity, frustration and reluctance. It terrifies me. What could I have done? Is my mere existence some kind of atrocity?"