Life On Death

Darkness

Sebastian-

I ran as Roxane left me. I ran all the way to my house and into my room. I had just closed my door, turned around to walk to my bed, on the way I broke down and cried. Fell at the edge of my bed. Tears streamed down my face. I felt like yelling. Yelling until my throat felt as if it was ripped from my neck.

I finally let go, screamed until my head ached. Screamed until I could no longer go on. I then lie down on my bed, shaking.

I cried myself to sleep that day, and for every day after that thinking, and wishing that Roxane would come back to me. But she never did. I had been in other relationships and had been dumped before but this one was different. I had felt a spark, I had thought, this is the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life. Yet she still left me.

I no longer went to school, it was not worth it anymore, it was just too hard to see all those faces again. There was no point in my life anymore.

My mom was making me see a doctor because I now had multiple severe health problems, the side effect of depression I guess. One day she sat me down in the car and started to yell.

"Sebastian, you have a lot to say for yourself! You have been depressed for 2 years now, and our insurance cannot cover all the health problems you've been having recently! You better get your act together or you will be kicked out of this household," My mother finished.

"Whatever" I mumbled.

"Well if you care so much then I won't provide for you much longer. We are already in poverty now because of you, I won't stand it much longer." My ears started to ring and I still didn't reply.

"Don't you get it Seb?" she pushed on. "We live in a dump now because of you. You are detached from society. You haven't been to school in two years, and don't you dare say this is my fault! This is your choice! I can't change it, it's your life, and you are old enough to start leading it!"

I finally replied, "It just doesn't seem like life is worth living anymore."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes"

"Get out of my car, you can live by yourself now. I am done paying for you to live in darkness. You can come back when you are done with this, this, whatever this is. Now get out!"

"I don't want to-"

"Get out of my car! Leave! I don't want you anymore, go!" She waited, I still didn't get out. "Are you mad child? GET OUT!"

I still didn't get out.

My mother got out of the car. Walked to the passenger's side and opened the door. She unbuckled me, and to my surprise grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and growled, "Sebastian Joseph Lee, you will get out of this car right now." With that she pulled me out of the car, my clothes now stained in the wet mud, the rain not helping. She slammed my door and got back in the car, and drove away. Leaving me, her own son, in the wet rain.