I'll Still Love You (Kaisoo Fanfic)

Chapter 45

"Please forgive me."

Kyungsoo's eyes flew open as he jerked awake, cold sweat matting his hair to his forehead and his shirt sticking to his spine. He had a dream about his last reunion with Jongin again. It had already been weeks since he caused a scene in SM Financials and reunited with Jongin, and still, every night, he had dreams about that day. He still remembered Jongin's broken smile and his terrified eyes that had silently pleaded for Kyungsoo to stop him from what he was putting himself through, and Jongin's agonized words that he seemed to have hated saying.

Sighing, Kyungsoo let his head fall into his hands. Maybe Baekhyun had been right all along. Maybe it was finally time that he gave up on Jongin for good. He wasn't getting anywhere in life, and he never would if he didn't stop moping around. He realized too late that he had wasted almost two months pitying himself and spending his tears on something when crying wouldn't have helped him move on anyway.

Even if he hadn't fully forgiven Baekhyun for not understanding how hard it was for Kyungsoo, he knew his best friend had a point, and that he only wanted what was best for Kyungsoo because he cared. But honestly, he didn't feel like he was ready to move on in life, especially when his heart still ached at the mere thought of Jongin. But there was always a start to everything, right? This would be a start to a new life; a new beginning.

~~~

As Jongin pulled on his white dress shirt and his black suit pants in front of the mirror, he examined the small cut on his lower lip and the purplish-yellow bruise right under his eye from where his father had hit him weeks ago because he had interacted with Kyungsoo. He should've seen the beating coming.

He lightly ran his fingers over the bruise and hissed at the sting. It was getting better, but it looked like he would have to use the concealer he had bought to conceal the bruise until it was barely noticeable. As for the cut on his lower lip, he would have to leave it to heal on its own.

Feeling drained already, Jongin rested his forehead against the mirror. "What have you gotten yourself into, Kim Jongin?" He was an idiot, wasn't he? A huge one at that. His stomach still churned when he thought of how hurt and betrayed Kyungsoo had looked that day. He still remembered Kyungsoo's tear-streaked face and his pleads for Jongin to take him back. He hurt Kyungsoo so much more than he already had, so why couldn't he bring himself to see Kyungsoo again? He missed the younger male so much that it hurt. The pain never lessened, but it grew. Every fucking day that passed, the tugging in Jongin's heart increased, continuously trying to drag him back to Kyungsoo. He wished he could just give into the wantings and the tugging in his heart, but it would be better if he didn't.

Three times. He had hurt Kyungsoo three times. First, he hurt him terribly when he broke up with him, and then he pushed Kyungsoo away when Kyungsoo had come to his condo, wanting to see Jongin again, and then he had hurt Kyungsoo just a few weeks ago when he, yet again, pushed Kyungsoo away. He didn't want to ruin the younger even more than he already did. If Jongin hadn't walked into Kyungsoo's life, Kyungsoo would've been working at the coffee shop with Baekhyun, and he wouldn't have to cry over his broken heart. Even if he was going through hard times when he and Baekhyun hadn't had any money, at least he had been happier, because Jongin wasn't there to screw anything up.

He hoped that Kyungsoo would learn to move on from him. And then Jongin would marry Soo Jung, like he was supposed to.

~~~

"I'm sure you'll get a response soon," Baekhyun assured. "We will just have to wait a little bit."

Kyungsoo hummed, looking out the window. This was his start to a new beginning. He had applied for the spot of a waiter at one of the cafes in the neighbourhood, but even after having an interview, Kyungsoo still didn't a phone call saying that he had been declined or accepted. He only hoped it was the latter.