Silence Falling. {au}

prologue

God gifted me something since I was born.

Things became very limited.

I guess, this is a way god show me that he loves me.

That’s what my mom always says.

Bullshit.

Life is so difficult, and there were some rough patches here and there that I’m still trying to cover up.

One day, depression just takes over me just because I can’t accept who I am for my self.

Yes, as weird as it sounds, I just hate my life.

I hate the fact that my family runs a factory.

I hate the fact that we are so goddamn rich.

I hate the fact that my parents can give me anything I want.

I hate the fact that they can afford anything.

Depression.

One word, ten letters, yet it becomes my most powerful enemy.

Because of it, I can’t accept who I am.

I always felt insecure about my self.

All  I want, is to lock my self in my bedroom, and just sit and do nothing.

I never want to socialize with people, since it’s so hard anyways.

I barely had any friends, and I have no siblings.

My parents come home late every night.

Their number one focus is work.

Leave early, coming home late.

It’s like I am just an object lying around their house.

Not that I’m capable to do things anyway.

I want to be free.

I want to go outside and just say hi to the world.

But, life is not always that easy.

I can’t accept my self, and I probably never will.

I will probably just spend the rest of my life on my bedroom.

Since I can’t do things like what normal people can.

Why did god put me in this condition in the first place?

Why?

Why me?

Am I too difficult to handle or something?

Is this what you wanted?

For me to spend the rest of my life, thinking all the capability things I could to if you didn’t give me this in the first place?

I know it’s dramatic, but that’s just life, you know.

You can never feel good enough to your self.

If you think you have many flaws, look at me.

Wait, no…

Go to the mirror and look at your self.

I just want to tell you that you are beautiful, and you shouldn’t care about things that other people say about you.

I mean, look at me.

I’m nineteen, “supposed” to go to college, yet I point out my biggest flaw.

I am mute.

And depression has taken over me since I was at a very young age.

I can’t talk like normal people.

Fuck, I can’t even stutter one single word.

You see?

I will never feel good about my self.

Ever.

I hate those nights where I just felt so insecure about my self.

I bet you have one of those nights too, huh?

But try to add the fact that you just really feel like a mistake, made by your parents.

Even though they told you that you are their “miracle child”.

But, guess what?

I never spent more than ten minutes with my mom and dad.

I get it, it’s their job, their doing this for living, but

Can we just stop talking about this work shit?

Because I want to tell you a story.

A story how of how one single thing, that could possibly changed my life.