Prayers of the damned

Why

Why was it you. Why is it still you. While you're moved on to someone else. I'm here crying over you. Because you don't love me. Because you don't want me. But why. Why do I care. God please. Make me stop caring. About the boy who kissed my scars. Who held my arms while mom took the stitches out. Who helped me wash them. And held me close while I cried at night. Who raced to the hospital when I called. Please make me stop remembering the good. Make me remember the fights. Make me remember the other girls. Make me remember the betrayal. The feelings. Make me remember these feelings. The feelings of him with her. Of him with someone else now. Him talking to her now. Learning about her. Being around her now. Replacing me. Forgetting me. Make me remember that. God please. Just help me remember the bad. Please help me to move on. Please god take away my feelings like you took away his. Make it easy for me to let him go and move on like you did for him. Make it easy for him to just be some stupid nobody. Like I am to him. Why do I have to be the one checking my phone all the time. When he's texting her. Or he's with her. Why do I have to sit and think about it. When he hasn't thought of me in days. When he doesn't care what I'm doing or who I'm talking to. Who I'm with or who I'm thinking about. He doesn't care. So why do I have to. Please god why do I have to. Why am I always this person. Why do I have to care. God please help me stop. Help me stop loving him. Wanting him. Wanting him to love me. Wanting him to be okay. Wanting him to want only me. To not make these mistakes. Just help me stop. Fuck whoever is listening help me stop. Help me see people for who they are. Not who I want them to be. Not how I want them to feel. But the truth. Help me to hide my heart. Not pour it into other people. I want to say if how he feels is the same as how I feel. Then help him to just tell me. To try. But... I know it's not that way. I know he doesn't feel those things. So just. Help me move on