At Her 18th | ✓

Eighteenth🌹

Sometimes we make decisions in the present thinking that it's right and it's what was best, but then, we find ourselves regretting it in the future.

Minsan naman may mga desisyon tayong hindi nagawa sa kasalukuyan na pagdating ng kinabukasan ay iisipin natin na sana ay ginawa nalang natin ito.

The contrasts of life decisions messes with our head, we want to not regret it that's why we choose to not do it, but then again we also might regret it because we didn't do it.

We all have our could haves and shouldn't haves, I had my fair share of them too. From test answers to trying out new things in life, every day, we are faced with decisions.

Our first meeting wasn't ideal. To me, he was my best friend's brother and my first impression of him was someone who tricks and manipulates you into getting what he wants. At ako naman, madali niyang nauto dahil hindi ako marunong mag-desisyon ng tama para sa sarili ko.

I agreed to the dare because of my childish pride, but because of that childishness, I learned things along the way.

Hindi naman siya masamang tao, mahalay, oo, pero hinding-hindi niya kayang manakit. Being with him extracted rage from me that I didn't even know I had, but he also made me feel like I was the most cherished person there is.

Tinuruan niya ako kung paano maging malaya. Dahil sa kanya, narealize ko na puwede akong gumawa ng mga desisyon para sa sarili ko, mga desisyong hindi na kailangang manggaling pa sa ibang tao, mga desisyong mula sa puso ko.

We're here right now because of one of those decisions, so if you'll ask me... Is this a decision I regret I made? It isn't. Will I regret it in the future? I won't, because Archibald Miller was my symbol of freedom.

He was a breath of fresh air, something who wasn't constant in the static flow of my life.

And attaining freedom comes with courage. He made me believe in myself. Believe that I could be someone who is not the picture everyone has of me, he made me believe that I can hatch from the cocoon everyone was keeping me in, that I could be a butterfly with wings that can bring me to new adventures in the vast world ahead.

Kaya kahit na nagdududa ako nung una tungkol sa mga desisyon ko pagdating sa kaniya, ngayon ay parang wala na ito sa'kin. I became accustomed to his presence that I no longer had to think before I act towards him.

He became a significant part of my life in the short time we had with each other.

I wanted to be selfish when it came to him. All my life I've been the one who's understanding. Ako palagi 'yung hindi nanghihingi ng sobra kina mommy at palaging iniintindi ang mga ayaw at gusto nilang gawin ko. Pero pagdating sa kaniya, gusto kong magdamot.

Gusto kong ipagdamot ang panahon na puwede ko siyang makasama. I never felt the need to be with someone this bad, ni hindi ko nga inakalang magiging ganito ako ka-attached sa kaniya. I thought I understood that when the time came, we would part ways. But now that it's here, I can't seem to let go.

The irony of how much I pushed him away before is doubling the feeling of wanting to keep him right now.

"Stay in bed." An arm wrapped around my waist pulling back on the bed.

His naked back exposed his muscles flex when he pulled me closer and snuggled his head along my waist.

I stroked his hair, feeling the warmth of his skin touching mine. I smiled, "Hapon na."