A/N: Just a boring chapter here about the cruise, I would have gone a little further with it but I am very tired and I said I would update tonight so there you go. I can't wait for the upcoming chapters! comment, vote, tell your friends about the story!
- sluttystyless
For once in a very long time I actually enjoyed shopping. I think this Bermuda cruise will be relaxing for me to get away from everyone at school. My mom gave me $200 to go shopping for clothes and Erin went crazy. She picked out all my outfits, and swimsuits but a lot of them I had to turn down because I wasn't very comfortable with showing a lot of skin and I need my outfits to cover my scars. I did give in and buy one bikini though. I don't think I'm gonna wear it unless I'm alone, I don't think I have enough confidence at all to wear something like that in public. We left the mall with giant bags full with clothes from Abercrombie, Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, and Wet Seal.
After finding Erin's car in the sea of cars at the mall, we put the bags in the trunk and spent the ride home blasting One Direction. Erin dropped me off at my house and then she left to go home. I carried the heavy bags inside and my mom greeted me in the living room,
"Hey honey! Looks like you spent all of my 200 dollars huh?" She smiled, not seeming to care that I just bought a shit load of clothes.
"Sorry." I said shrugging my shoulders and carrying the bags to my room. I actually had 20$ left over but I slipped it into a jar under my bed, my One Direction fund. I needed to save up all that I could so I could meet them. I took all the clothes that I had just bought, plus some others that I already had and stuffed them into a suitcase. I took out a seperate small duffel bag and filled it with my razors, make up, shampoo, conditioner, and everything else in my bathroom.
After an hour of packing I was tired and hungry, so I made my way to the kitchen for a snack. I grabbed a bag of salt and vinegar chips out of the cupboard and sat at the kitchen table eating while scrolling through tumblr on my phone. After finishing almost half the bag my dad came in and sat down next to me.
"Emily do you have a boyfriend?" He asked out of no where. I almost choked on my chips and I started coughing from laughing so hard. "Why is that funny?"
"Me? Have a boyfriend?!" I actually find this very comical, how could someone as ugly and socially awkward as me have a boyfriend?
"Emily, you're 18 and you are a very pretty girl and I'm sure guys are hitting on you all the time-" He stopped mid-sentence when I started hysterically laughing.
"Dad. Im ugly and fat and stupid and no one wants me to be their girlfriend. A guy hitting on me? Never." I scoffed rolling my eyes and tugging the sleeves down on my cardigan.
"Honey I know that's how you feel but it's not true. I don't know when you are going to see that are beautiful. " He smiled, grabbing my hand in his. I tore away from his grip and got up from the table, this was bullshit. "Wait Emily." My dad pleaded, so I turned back around to face him. "Just make sure you stay safe on the cruise, and don't let any boys mess with you and-"
"Dad, stop." I broke in, cutting him off. This was ridiculous, he doesn't need to worry about me and boys, ever.
"Just stay safe on the cruise, okay?" He sighed.
"Yeah, whatever." I mumbeled under my breath and went to my bedroom. I opened my packed duffel bag and took out my box of razors, stuffing them in a towel and snuck into the hall bathroom. I didn't really have to sneak around, my parents know what I do to myself but I don't like them knowing when I do it. If they find out what I'm about to do then they will try to stop me and talk me out of it. But to be honest, its annoying, and it makes me want to cut even more. Then they will try to take my razors away from me, and I can't have that.
I locked the bathroom door behind me and tore off my clothes, tossing them to the side. I sat in the bathtub and sliced three new cuts onto my right wrist. Satisfied with the pain, I put the razor aside and continued on with a shower. I washed my hair and shaved my legs and everywhere else that needed shaving. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, looking down at my new, stinging, cuts I realized they were still bleeding. I must have cut deeper than normal, so I looked around the bathroom trying to find a bandage, gauze or something to stop the bleeding. I ended up finding a bandage that I wrapped around my wrist tightly to hold pressure on the wound. I picked up my dirty clothes and wrapped the towel around me before heading to my bedroom.
I put on pajama shorts and a long sleeve shirt, grabbed a couple nail polishes from my drawer and sat on my bed. I spent the rest of the night painting my nails and watching Greys Anatomy on my IPhone.
-
The next morning I actually woke up with a smile on my face, this never happened. The whole smiling and being happy thing never really happened, but today it did. I felt like this cruise is going to change me, no one on the cruise knows who I am so they don't know that everyone in my school picks on me. They don't know that being seen with me is a disgrace because I am the must unpopular, disgusting senior in my school. I am really going to try on this cruise. I am going to try to be happy and participate in events and maybe even talk to some people. Then again, they probably won't want to talk to me.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and shuffled out of bed and over to my vanity. Realizing that I packed all of my stuff away I had to get my duffel bag and retrieve my make up and straightener. I really wanted to try and look decent. I would never look pretty but at least people won't mistake me for a hobo. I brushed out my dirty blonde hair and straighted it all, I had pretty long hair, it almost reached my butt. Next I moved on to my make up, I covered my face in foundation, hiding my few pimples and blemishes. I curled my eyelashes and applied three coats of mascara, then lined my blue eyes with eyeliner. I decided not to wear any eyeshadow, and I just put some vanilla chapstick on my lips, keeping it simple.
I was proud of the way my make up came out, and I guess maybe I thought I looked good for a second but that feeling went away quickly. I had my outfit already picked out for today, a black romper with a grey cardigan to go over it. My mom told me you had to dress somewhat fancy for the cruise so I added a pair of black heels. After re-packing my duffel bag I grabbed my suitcase and the duffel bag and carried them out to the living room where my mom had already put her two suitcases.
My mom was dressed in a work suit, this trip was for her job so she needed to look professional. My dad drove us to the boat, when we got there my jaw dropped. The boat was huge! I didn't really know what to expect since I have never been on a cruise, but this I did not expect. I could get lost on this thing, hell, I know I'm going to get lost on this boat. It looked like there were thousands of people pouring onto the boat, I didn't know how we were all going to fit. A nice man dressed in a white suit approached us and took our bags asking what room number we were. I had no clue but my mom said 582.
My mom and I kissed my dad goodbye and followed the man in the white suit. He somehow managed to carry all of our bags without struggle and led us onto the boat. I couldn't help but hold my breath as I stepped onto this giant ship that would be my home for the next five days. My mom and I trailed close behind the man as he directed us to our room. It wasn't a very big room, it had two beds, two dressers, a tv, and a bathroom. The man set our bags in our room and left, probably to help more people onto the boat.
I immediatly left the room and went back out on the boats deck, watching people load all their luggage onto the boat. After about 20 minutes of loading more and more people onto the boat, they finally annouced we were departing soon. I watched as the ramp connecting the boat to the dock was pulled away and a very loud honking noice came from the boat. I gripped onto the boats railing, not knowing what to expect when the boat began to move. I watched the dock slowly dissapear as we grew further and further away from land but it didn't feel like we were moving at all.
A small smile crept onto my face as I stare out at the blue ocean, and the bright sun, everything felt so wonderful. Wind blew my hair behind me and a chill went through my body, a good chill. This feeling that I was feeling was very strange for me, it was almost like I was happy, truly happy. I can't wait to see what the cruise brings for me next.
