hi i'm a piece of garbage and i can't keep a good writing schedule so enjoy this trash i thought about for a few days and wrote in 10ish minutes
Word Count: 465
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of suicide, angst, love, relationships, weird writing style, weird idea for a story, doesn't straight out say it's gay but it is
Summary: Read the first sentence of the story I guess. It's truly not that bad of a story I just hate myself lol. It's an interesting concept. Give it a try?
Disclaimer: This story is completely fiction. It is not based off of any events that happened to me or anyone I know. I, in fact, have never been in a relationship so that's that. If anyone who has experienced loss like this thinks I'm way off or being disrespectful, please message me.
okie dokie let's get this show on the road
also today is my 15th birthday i guess lol
Imagine you're a water bottle.
Just a simple water bottle made of plastic.
Minding your own business.
Then someone shoves you into a freezer.
You're cold.
You start to seize up.
Freeze.
You lose the ability to move.
Slowly, you lose a part of yourself until you're completely gone.
You're a cold, immobile solid.
And you stay like that.
For about a week or so.
Maybe more.
Maybe less.
Then someone takes you out of the freezer.
You start to thaw.
Just a little.
You begin to feel things.
Small things.
You're starting to become water again.
Then someone smashes you with a hammer.
You shatter.
You fall apart.
You feel everything at once as you break into a million pieces.
You're exposed.
Every emotion you've ever felt is laying in front of you.
Then you just sit there.
A half frozen, completely broken, water bottle.
You melt.
Now you're full of water again.
Then someone throws you into a freezer.
And you start the cycle again.
Not so much fun to imagine, right?
It's even less fun to live it out.
Because that's what it feels like to lose the one you love.
Not lose as in they stopped loving you and chose someone else.
Lose as in they loved you with all their heart and soul but they had to go.
Lose as in you planned out your whole life together and it was going to happen but then God decided, no, that's not what I want.
No.
They're going to die instead.
Let's try it a bit different.
A real world situation.
With people.
Let's say what really happened.
I was water.
I was calm.
I was happy.
Then he died.
I froze.
Slowly I forgot how to do simple things.
Like care for myself.
Then I stopped functioning.
I forgot how to eat.
I forgot how to sleep.
I forgot how to get out of bed, how to take a shower, how to brush my teeth and change into new clothes.
I forgot how to live.
I forgot how to smile.
This was my life for weeks.
Then I got better for a while
I remembered how to take of myself.
I remembered how to smile.
Then I lost it.
Because a flip switched and everything turned upside down.
I felt everything again.
Every emotion.
Every memory.
Only it was everything at once and it was too much, too much, too much.
I felt like I was drowning.
But I was just being smashed into bits.
And it hurt.
Everything hurt so much.
But overtime, I got better.
Again.
And then I was frozen.
Again.
And the cycle repeats.
Over and over.
Until instead of feeling all of those emotions and crying, you feel numb.
And you keep feeling numb until you step off that roof.
Then you feel pain.
A lot of pain.
But then
you
feel
happy.
leave something on my sarahah please <3
