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Chapter 5: Ready?

Ivory

    I have my back against the door, slide down to the floor. I can't believe this. I am going to be in the same car Declan Alexander for two whole weeks and try not to kill him. I don't have that feeling of wanting to kill him though. I don't have it. I don't want it back. I didn't like the hate. I only hated him because he was awful to me. Now, that he wants to make it up to me. I am going to make him my bus. I don't want to be like my father, full of hate. I will give Declan a chance. I will do it and not be rude. Well, I won't make him cry.

    I needed to get up but I don't want to. He is going to see me and start yelling. I'm in a good mood. I don't want him to ruin it. So I get up and try to sneak in my room. I get up the stairs and try not to look at the happy pictures on the walls of my little brother's happy smile or of my mom cutting the blue cake to see if she was having a boy or girl. So many pictures of my brothers, no pictures of me. None at all. Not one. That used to make me so sad, that my parents didn't love me. They don't, they only ever wanted boy. They never wanted a baby girl. Now, they are stuck with me no more happy baby boys anymore. Their both gone.

    I have my hand on the door handle but I hear the door behind me open. Dang it! Here goes the yelling. I turn to see if it's my dad. And call me a freaking psychic. It is.

    "Ivory, you're late," He says in his a deep voice.

    I'm not going to say my dad is a bad looking guy. I got my eyes and cheekbones from him. Maybe that's why my mom don't want to leave him. She wants everyone to be jealous that she was a black woman and got one of the most rich white men in town. It's annoying. I got my hair from him too. Everyone says I look like my dad. I hate it when they say that. I don't want anything to do with him. He is the type of guy who won prom king. He isn't short but he isn't tall. He'e like 5'9". He's not white as paper but not tan. He's not fat but he's not skinny. He's not something unique as me or my mom. My skin is a nice tan and my mom's dark and smooth. I do like my mom, I just hate she stays with him. He hits her, he yells her, he calls us every bad word you can think of,  and he blames me for everything bad thing that's happened.

    Dad of the year!

    "I'm surprised that you even noticed I was gone. And I'm not late," I look at my watch to  show him. "It's 7:45. I am to be home by 11 o'clock I'm very early."

    "You smart ass!" He screams at me and storms down the stairs to stares at his lost boys. He looks at me. "I never wanted you. I wish it was you and not them. You are worthless. Always have, always will," He says is a scary calm voice.

I laugh. "Okay, I didn't know you were talking to a mirror. Because to form where I am standing you were diving, you didn't go back for them, you left them, and I went back to them," I said in a voice that makes the blood from  his face vanished.

    I turn away from him and walk into my room and lock it. I hear him run up the stairs and starts banging on my door. It shakes the whole door. He is saying some of those "not ladylike" words at me.

    I keep laughing. I'm not crazy or anything. I just think it's funny, he thinks he still gets to me. I used to not say anything when he would say that to me. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't laugh like I am now. But I don't care anymore. I am a good kid I know this. I don't work hard for them. I don't even work hard for myself. I work hard for my brothers, for the life that they lost before they had a chance to live it. I am living it for them. That's why I'm not sad all the time because I know why wouldn't want me to sad they wouldn't want me to believe him. They know I loved them like no one other. We were the three candy bars!

The banging stops that what takes me out my thoughts. I hear him walk away caller me some more words. I roll my eyes and look over my room. He came in here. It's a mess.