The Beautiful & Damned

22 - Disappointment

disappointment - /dɪsəˈpɔɪntm(ə)nt/
sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations

A couple of days passed since Taylor called me and so far, I haven't heard from him. I knew he would eventually hit me up again, he said he'll be in town for a week. If I'm completely honest, nerves were killing me. I know he's an asshole and seeing him would probably be a waste of time, but a part of me really wanted to go and tell him how I feel; right to his fucking face.
Truth is, we haven't really seen each other after he broke up with me, which he did over text messaging. I haven't really confronted him since then and it's been bothering me. I know I sound silly but it was piling up inside my head and I wanted to let him know once and for all, tell him to stop calling me... and my mother.
At first I thought it would be better to just go and not tell Gerald; it would only upset him. Then I remembered how he told me everything about his life and I'd feel absolutely terrible if I lied to him; so would he.
So I told him over coffee, hoping he would understand.

"I need to tell you something and you have to promise to not be upset by it." I said. He put down his mug and gave me a nod, focusing on me.

"Okay..."

"Uhm, I might have to see Taylor."

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, but he was surprisingly calm.
"Alright, if you think it's what's best in this situation... okay. But I don't like it."

"It's just something I have to do, for myself." I explained.

"How so?"

"It's been rolling around my head for years. I want to tell him everything in person; how I felt, what he did to me and to stop calling me and my mother because this is not happening, ever."
I said.

"Okay. You think it's really the best solution to dig the past up again?" He asked me.

"Well, he dumped me over a text message and I haven't seen him since so... yeah. I need to confront him once and for all." I really hoped he would understand.

"If you think it's what you need to do, I support your decision." He gave me a tiny grin.

"Yeah?" I looked at him, wanting conformation.
He nodded.

"Look, I trust you baby. Don't worry about me, do what you gotta do." He put his hand on mine.

"Would you come with me?"

He looked at me funny.
"I think that would be a little awkward." He was being sarcastic.

"Not with me with me. Just stay close? Like in a bar near by. Wait for me?" I asked.

"Oh, that. Sure thing." He said.

"You're really okay with this? You mean it?" I asked him again; A part of me felt like shit. "I get that it might be weird."

"I'm good. As long as he behaves like he should, I don't mind." He caressed my cheek just for a second and grinned.
"I'll stay close, just call me whenever you wanna leave or if he starts acting up, okay?"

I nodded.
"Promise." I leaned in and gave him a little kiss.

I was happy this conversation was over, now I needed to deal with the harder one; call Taylor.