It All Started With: We're Just Friends

Nineteen

Geez. What to do?! I feel a little regret for sending that message. When I saw him looking at me like that, it made me feel relieved somehow. He's fine! He's physically fine. I missed him so much. But I can't hug him right now, what if he looked at me that way because he just read the message I sent?

I sit beside Ponggay which is in front of Ricci. I couldn't face him and look straight into his eyes. I think I might cry. "Order ka na Deanns, Isaac's treat." Ate Bea said pointing at the menu. I ordered my usual course. And as I waited, I suddenly noticed that Ricci's been staring at me. And I don't know why I looked at him. We've been staring for like five seconds, and suddenly a tear drops into his face.

Shet. He already read the message.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ricci asked standing up as he wipes the tears away. I stand up and follow his lead. It's cold outside so he lent me his varsity jacket from UP.

"How are you?" He said and hugged me tightly. With that, I burst into tears. I missed him so so so much! I want to take back what I've said on that text. "I missed you so much. Sorry for not trying to contact you. I'm truly sorry. My phone's confiscated because of the season. Our coach had it so I really can't message you. Mom's also being strict. She won't allow me to even open my messenger to message you. I'm sorry. I love you Deanna." He said as he faces me.

Wrong move. Can I take back the message I sent?!

"Ricci, about that..." I said, thinking the right words to say. "What is it?" He asked smiling. "I messaged you, about breaking up with you." His smile faded, I felt weak and frail once again.

"Why?! You have someone already? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I can't contact you for months? Yes, I know it's my fault but Babe, please understand our situation right now. It's different than last year. It's hard for me also to not see you and talk to you." He said, holding both of my hands. I burts into tears. I can't face Ricci being like this.

"Babe, please just give me one more chance. Please. I'm begging you. I love you." He said hugging me. I hugged him back. "Alam kong may pagkukulang ako, pero please. Kaya nga pinasama kita kay Ate Bea eh. For once man lang, makausap at makita kita. Babe please. I don't wanna lose you. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kahirap yung tiniis kong hindi ka puntahan at makausap. We've been locked up from socials. Especially sa girlfriend. Please babe." He said, I can feel the tears on my shirt from his eyes. He's hurting. I hurt him. I was the one who actually hurt him. I don't deserve him, he's still fighting but I gave up easily. But I love him so much, I need to fix this. I'll wait for him.

"Babe, I'm sorry." I said, and he faced me with a befuddled look. "W-why? Babe, don't scare me like that. Babe." He added, tears coming out. "No, I'm sorry for letting you go that easily. Sorry for sending the message that I actually don't know the reason why I can't reach you. But babe, I really can't wait for you na. Ang hirap mag-antay babe. Lalo na kung hindi mo man lang ako inuupdate or kahit pinupuntahan sa dorm." Somehow, I feel remorseful after saying it. It's so demanding but what else can I do? I don't want to leave this relationship hanging but I want to see if he can at least make an effort after I do this. "I need a break, Ricci."