Ashes (MCU/Loki fan fic)

Barrier

You scratched another tally mark into the wall. How many was that? You sat back for a moment and lifted a finger counting the clusters.

5. 10. 15. 20. You continued for several clusters. Realizing you had filled over half of the third wall.

55. 60. 65. 70.

You continues counting.

When you finally finished counting the first wall, you were already at 455. You gave up counting. And took a deep breath. Standing tall you decided to stop counting.

It's been years.

It was time to accept you were done.

Dropping the rock you used to make the marks. You sat down with your legs crossed in the middle of the room.

Your hair was disheveled and much longer than usual. It was a greasy and matted mess sticky with blood of many, many head injuries.

Your hands were cut and scared. Your legs as well as your back. You had dark circles under your eyes.

The withering aspect of the phantoms blows creating an almost addiction type result.

You hadn't been able to use your telepathy since you arrived. You discovered weeks ago that after severe head trauma however you could heat whispering.

Which taunted you more than encouraged you.

It was useless to fight the creatures. They could shift their matter at will, being able to hit you but if you swung it went right through them.

They used you for many reasons. Plots of destroying nations. Taking samples of almost everything from you trying to harness your powers.

Damaging yours along the way.

Once they even- you couldn't bring yourself to think of it...

Lately, you just say. They'd occasionally beat you if you got too loud or spoke out of place.

You resulted to denial.

You would use a duplicate to talk to yourself, which was odd as it sounded but you was better than you thought.

All you could do was pray to the all fathers that Loki had died on the impact of where he landed, or somehow made it safely home unharmed.

You meditated a lot.

Tried contacting Heimdall.

Tried to forget the pain and act as if the next torture visit would never come.

Attempted to end it yourself multiple times...

Failed....

You were deteriorating, mentally and physically.

You began working out. Sit up, push ups, all you could.

Trying to keep yourself from going.