August rain | myg ✔

t w o

Dr Surrey blinked twice.

"I'm sorry?" She repeated, sounding somewhat confused. "You're in love?"

Yoongi nodded slowly, swallowing again.

The doctor waited for him to say more, but he didn't. He just looked down at his hands again, nervously playing with them. He didn't want to say more, even if he knew he'd eventually have to. 

"You're in love." Dr Surrey repeated after a moment of silence. "I see." Another moment of silence. "And may I ask who is the person you're in love with?" 

Shit. The other question he didn't want to answer. The question to which there was only a single answer, an answer that haunted his nights and his days and that made him feel like there could never be another answer. It was the answer.

Shit. He slowly closed his eyes, letting the darkness take over, trying to calm down his furiously beating heart and regulate his uneven breath. 

She used to tell him it was a good thing, to regulate his breath when he was nervous or agitated. She used to tell him it would calm him down. It would trick his body into thinking he wasn't stressed, he wasn't nervous, he wasn't about to have a breakdown. But she wasn't here now and he was on the verge of a breakdown. His damn breath wouldn't calm down, no matter how much he breathed in and out, and in and out, and in and out, until he felt like passing out. 

He opened his eyes again, feeling slightly dizzy from all these thoughts and uneven breathing. His gaze fell right into the doctor's serious, understanding eyes. It didn't seem like she was judging him, rather she acted like it was completely normal for him to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of her small office. But then again, she was a psychiatrist, so maybe that was all she really saw, all day long: people having breakdowns because they couldn't calm their thoughts.

He was still breathing unevenly, and it didn't feel like it would slow down anytime soon. And all he could think about as he heard his uneven breathe resonate through the small office was, why wasn't she here to help him breath? 

Why wasn't she here? Why wasn't she by his side, taking deep breaths along with him? Why wasn't her warm breath whispering in his ear that everything would be fine, that he would be okay? Why wasn't her soft skin within the reach of his shaking hands? Why?

He needed her here, he needed her by his side, not only now, but forever. But that forever had ended and he couldn't do anything about it. 

The doctor moved her hand to readjust her glasses.

"Yoongi, take your time. You don't have to answer the question if you don't want to, of course." She nodded slowly, her eyes traveling down to the file opened in front of her. She wrote something rapidly and raised her eyes again. "How about you tell me something about you? Your favorite food, or maybe your favorite movie?" She said softly, and he could feel that she was trying to put him at ease, trying to help him calm down.

He appreciated the intention, but it wasn't really helping. Nothing could really help. Nothing could help, except her.

He took a deep breath.

"I like ramen noodles." He whispered as if he was confessing to a priest. Which was how he felt, even if he was just stating his favorite food. Because deep down, he knew he was here to talk about her, and about what had happened. But instead, he was stating that he liked ramen noodles. 

The doctor nodded and gave him a small smile of encouragement. "And your favorite movie?"

He didn't even think as he answered.

"I don't like movies. The only times I watch a movie is when she wants to see one." He murmured.

It was the truth. He had never really watched a movie before she came along. He always found it boring, he always felt like he could do something more interesting than sitting and staring at a screen for two hours. But then she had come into his life, and she liked movies. They watched a few together, and suddenly he liked movies. He liked sitting close to her in the dark, for two hours, and look at her as she watched the movie. Every expression she felt would displayed on her beautiful face, and he would get to stare at it for two hours. It was a magnificent sight and he wanted nothing more than to see it again. Her beautiful face, right next to him, again, and forever.

"She?" The doctor inquired quietly. 

He was so consumed by his thoughts, he didn't even blink as he answered mechanically.

"Catalina." 

___________

A/N - Fun fact: I almost named the girl May. But then I thought Enough with the months, bangtancha, this is not a calendar. So I named her after an island instead, because I have zero creativity when it comes to names. Voila.