"Catalina?"
The doctor had questioned silently, but he still flinched.
Hearing her name felt like a sword had pierced through his chest, travelled all the way through and came out on the other side, not allowing him to breath and slowly tearing down every part of him that still stood despite the pain.
He ignored it. He ignored it like he's been ignoring his aching soul for the last month.
"Yes, Catalina. The girl I love." It took all his strength to muster these words, and when they were released from his lips he felt like a weight was being lift off his shoulder. A small weight, but a weight nonetheless. But this weight leaving his shoulders didn't make him stand taller, rather it made him slump forward slightly, crouching down on himself.
The doctor nodded and noted something in the file, her warm eyes quickly traveling back to the boy in front of her. The file stated he was 26, but his posture made him seem like a small child. He looked broken, destroyed beyond repairs and somehow lost within the world.
He was 26. He should have been out with his friends, having fun and building his life and thinking about his future. But he was in a psychiatrist's office in the middle of a sunny Tuesday afternoon and he was crumbling. No, he wasn't crumbling, he was already crumbled. He was in pieces and behind his lifeless eyes lived his pain and his fears and his agony.
Because there was no way around it: the boy was in agony. Agony over what, Dr Surrey didn't know. He had stated that he was in love - a rather unusual reason to consult a psychiatrist. And the fact that he barely could say the girl's name without visibly flinching was rather puzzling. Whatever that Catalina had done to the poor boy, it had completely destroyed him. And Dr Surrey couldn't wait to find out.
"Tell me, Yoongi, you said you love Catalina, is that correct?" She questioned, and the boy merely nodded in response, looking down at his fidgeting hands.
"I see. And why do you love her?"
Yoongi froze.
Why did he love Catalina? Was it because of her wide, grey eyes that stared at him through her long eyelashes? Was it because they shined so bright when she laughed, and even more when she cried?
Maybe it was the way she danced in the middle of their living room to some old songs that no one had listened to in the past century. The way she sang, repeating the same chorus over and over again, just because she liked the song but couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics. The way she laughed, silently with her dimples appearing and her shoulders slightly shaking. The way she murmured his name as they laid in the dark together before slowly falling asleep every night. The way she tasted, so sweet and heavenly.
Perhaps it was the way she made him feel complete, like nothing could really go wrong when she was by his side. Even when they fought, somehow he'd feel like he wasn't supposed to be anywhere else but there, by her side. It didn't matter if they argued about what to eat for dinner, or had a disagreement about money. He knew he was meant to be there, arguing with her, talking with her, laughing with her, loving her, for the rest of his life.
He had never realized how much there was an empty place in his heart and his soul, until she came by and filled it so much, it sometimes felt like it would explode. Explode from too much happiness, explode from too much love, explode from too much fulfillment. And now that she wasn't here, it had exploded, and the love and happiness and fulfillment had turned to dust. Dust he could only stare at and try not to cry as it laid there lifelessly in his mind.
The Yoongi he was before Catalina came along, he didn't know that Yoongi anymore. He wasn't the same, she had changed him for the better, somehow making it feel like his life prior to meeting her had been meaningless and not even his. And now that she was gone, it seemed like the empty feelings had come back, and he was back to being that person he wasn't.
"She's my everything."
________
A/N - Next chapter will have more dialogues/actions, I swear. How do you all find this story so far?
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August rain | myg ✔
FanfictionIt happened in August. One morning she was here, laughing and singing by his side, and the next morning, she was gone. It took a single day for her to disappear, for her to leave an empty space in their apartment and in his heart. Her smell still l...
