August rain | myg ✔

f o u r

Yoongi stumbled into the street, his mind foggy. His appointment with Dr Surrey had just ended, but he couldn't stop thinking about the words he had said.

She's my everything.

It was the first time he had said this, yet it was such an evidence that it somehow stunned him.

It stunned him, but it also made him feel hopeless. Like no matter what would happen in the future, he'd never feel complete again, because he could only feel complete when she was by his side, but she would never be by his side again. His everything was gone and all there was left was nothing.

He walked along the busy street all the way to the subway station not too far away. Quickly walking down the stairs, he made his way to the platform heading east. To head home, he should be on the west-bound station, but he wasn't heading home. He wasn't heading home because his apartment wasn't a home anymore. It was just a small apartment that felt empty and lifeless. It wasn't a home now that she wasn't there.

So he headed east, riding the subway for 20 minutes until he reached the only other station he knew way too well. He walked four blocks, and came in front of a small house that had recently been painted blue. Taking out his key, he shoved it in the keyhole and opened the door. Stumbling into the entry, he removed his shoes and made his way to the kitchen as silently as possible. 

But he wasn't silent enough.

"How was it?" A woman entered the kitchen 15 seconds after him. Her dark hair was perfectly pinned on top of her head, meaning she was about to head out, or had just come home. Knowing her, it was probably the former.

He sighed silently, turning away from her to open the refrigerator and look over the food they had. 

"It was fine, Mom." He grumbled, not really wanting to talk about it, and knowing she probably didn't have the time to listen anyway.

He couldn't find anything to eat, so he closed the refrigerator door and moved to the pantry. As he looked through it, he heard the faucet being opened behind him, and the water started running.

"Did she give you meds?" His mom sounded indifferent, as she always did. He sometimes wondered why she bothered asking questions if she seemed so uninterested by the answer. 

"No." 

The water stopped running, and he heard her turn around. He knew she was looking at him, but still he stared at the inside of the pantry, wishing that somehow good food would appear and that his mom would magically stop talking and leave the room.

"No? But Yoongi, it's been a month." She sounded tired. "Did you tell her that you need..." 

He slammed the pantry door close, cutting her off.

 "I don't need meds." 

A sigh came from behind him, and he turned to meet her gaze. Even though she was perfectly put together, she had an hint of exhaustion in her eyes. He could see it, because he felt the same way: exhausted, and somehow just wishing it was over. All of this, over.

"I just think it would help you. All you do is go to work, come home, and lay in your bed staring at the ceiling. I know you're not well, and I know it hurts. I just think meds would help you get through." 

He flinched, closing his eyes and taking a step back.

"Get through? Is that what you think I'm doing? Getting through it? " He raised his voice, his fists clenching. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but it didn't work, because she wasn't there to help him.

His mom's shoulders fell slightly, and she shook her head. "That's not what I meant, Yoongi. I'm sorry, I just... I want you to get better. I just think it could help you." She looked away. "I know it's hard to think about right now, but eventually you'll have to move on with your life."

Shaking his head in denial, he wrapped his arms around himself, somehow trying to keep himself together.

"I don't want to move on, I want her." His voice broke on the last word. Tears formed in his eyes, but he blinked furiously in hopes that it would prevent them from falling. It didn't.

"You know that's not possible." His mom answered in the softest voice possible. She looked at him with sad eyes, because he was clearly in pain and she couldn't do anything to help him, except sending him off to a psychiatrist in hopes that it would help him. But clearly it hadn't.

She took a step forward to hug him, to hold him close like she would when he was little and had hurt himself. But she couldn't do it, because he still had his arms wrapped around himself in a protective, defensive way. As she took another step towards him, suddenly he was meters away from her, looking at her warily and his whole body tense. His fists were still clenched.

"I'll be in my room." He murmured before disappearing behind the kitchen door, leaving his mom alone in the kitchen. 

He didn't look back.

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A/N - Oh my god, Bleed me just went over 1K reads! And I celebrated by writing another depressing chapter lol. Thank you all for your lovely comments, I love chatting with you all <3