August rain | myg ✔

e i g h t

The following week was a blur. 

Yoongi stayed alone in his dark room, crying most days and most nights. The few moments he wasn't crying, he would lay in his bed, completely numb to the pain and the passing of time. And soon after, he would start crying again.

He only saw his mom that week. She would bring him food a few times a day, ask him if he wanted to come downstairs or, even better, go for a walk with her. Hope always shined in her words, but he never bothered answering. Still she kept suggesting it. 

That was when he was numb. But when he cried, she would come and hold him close, sometimes for hours at a time. When she would hold him, he would cry harder. Cry until he couldn't anymore, cry until all of the tears he held in had fallen. That's when he would stop, but it never lasted long until his eyes filled up again. 

He was like a well, filling up for a while, until he was full and could empty itself again. And when it was empty, he would stay numb until it wasn't. 

He didn't see Jungkook that week, although he could hear him walking down the hallway when the boy went to class and came back. It was the only way he could keep track of time: Jungkook going to class every morning, and Jungkook coming back home every night. Sometimes he heard him talk with their mom. They talked softly and quickly, like he was asleep and they were afraid of waking him. But they all knew he wasn't sleeping. 

It was Sunday when he first left his room. All he did was go downstairs and grab some milk from the fridge, because he was starving but his mom had went shopping. And a few minutes later, he was back in his room, buried under the covers and crying in the dark. 

It was Monday when he left his room at his mom's suggestion. She had urged him to come downstairs and eat lunch with her. She told him she had made chicken soup, his favorite, and she wouldn't bring it upstairs because it could spill, and she didn't want to clean the carpet. Yoongi was ridiculously hungry by that point because he had barely eaten breakfast, so he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen.

It was the first time he had seen the sun in a week. It lit up the kitchen and made him feel like he had stumbled into another world. A carefree, peaceful world that was millions of miles away from the world he lived in back in his room and the world he suffered from in his mind. 

He didn't stay for long in the kitchen, just long enough to eat one bowl of soup, and soon after he was upstairs again, laying in his bed in the darkness and seeing Catalina in his mind. 

It was Tuesday when he finally had to get dressed again, for the first time in a week. He couldn't stay crying in his bed, because he had his weekly appointment with Dr Surrey in the afternoon. 

"You have to go, Yoongi," his mom had told him, and he knew he didn't have a choice.

He didn't really want to go, because the last appointment had been a disaster. It was what had release his anger towards Catalina's death, his anger towards the world for taking away the only thing he truly cared about, and taking it away from him in such a cruel, destructive, permanent way. 

And when his anger had been released, it was the pain and the suffering that had taken its place. The suffering that came from knowing that now, Catalina was truly gone, for good. 

He got dressed, left his room, got downstairs and put on his shoes. He stared at the entry door for a few moments, hesitant and somewhat fearful. He didn't know what was waiting for him on the other side of the door, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He feared that whatever was out there would hurt him even more. He feared that this time, it would not only destroy him, but shatter those broken pieces of him into dust, dust that would be blown away by the wind and that he would never see again.

"Yoongi, you have to go now or you'll be late," his mom said from behind him.

Not thinking further, he opened the door and rushed out to the subway station, and within 20 minutes he was sitting in Dr Surrey's empty waiting room.

Again, he stared at the painting in front of him. It felt like the millionth time, even if it was just the third time he was seeing it. But for the first time, he noticed the rain in it. The rain that was falling from the sky and into the stormy ocean and filled it up even more, even though it didn't need to be filled up, it was already full. It was full and troubled, and the last thing it needed was more water. But yet it rained, rain from the grey clouds that took the whole sky and showed no sign of disappearing.

The door to the waiting room opened, and the same secretary as last time appeared. She noticed he was staring at the painting, and smiled softly.

"Beautiful, isn't it? It's La Vague by Auguste Renoir." 

Yoongi nodded slowly and stood up, giving the painting and its rain one last look before making his way into Dr Surrey's office. 

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A/N - Fun Fact: In BV2, Tae tells the captain of the boat that his name is Renoir (with a ridiculously cute accent, of course). Tae's such an intellectual troll and I love it. Also, the guy clearly doesn't believe him lol.

Sorry for the delay. I wrote the next chapter, it's long(er) and took an unexpected turn lol. Don't worry, it will (finally) reveal some stuff!