A Breakdown

A Realization

I tried in vain to stop the flow of tears, but couldn't. My emotions were running too high, and I couldn't calm down. Everything Deceit had said hit closer than he thought, essentially ripping me open. I was disgusted with myself for falling apart in front of someone else again, and mad that I was giving him material to use against me.

As they always do, the damned voices came along with my turmoil. The voices were mainly mine, but there were snippets of Deceit's voice swirling around with me. I could tell they were whispering aloud, as I felt Deceit slowly back away from me.

"You're so weak"
"You're a fraud"
"Pathetic"
"Loser"
"Useless"
"Nobody will remember you"
"You'll never be wanted"

The voices got louder and more numerous the more they spoke.

"No. No no no. It's not true, it isn't!"

I screamed, trying to drown them out with my own voice.

"It isn't."

It was a whisper, I couldn't convince myself, not when it had been so long since I lost control this bad.

Thud

Slowly, I looked up. Deceit had fallen to his knees, eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed, like he was trying to say something, but no sound would come. His eyes snapped to mine. For one wild, crazy second, I thought I saw pity on his face. Hoped that finally, someone saw how bad it was and would maybe try to understand.

"It really is disgusting."

The sounds stopped suddenly, like in the eye of a hurricane. I stared, open- mouthed and stunned. I blinked, once, twice, and the eye moved on. The voices were screaming now, shrieking around like banshees. I was stuck, immovable in the middle of it all. Deep down, I knew it was stupid to hope, even for a fleeting second. But no matter how short that hope lasts, it always hurts when it's crushed.

Another voice added to the screams, and as the voices dug into my skull, I let the pressure out by screaming with them. It shouldn't have been this bad. But it had been a long time since I let anything slip, too long. The pent up negativity added to the spark that was my initial fear, the little spark caused by Deceit's taunting. And the screaming and taunting and insulting only made my fears and anxiety worse, giving more fuel to the flames. I had forgotten how badly a little panic could blow up.

After a very long time, my voice grew hoarse, making it painful to scream any longer. I suffered in silence, the only physical reaction being the tears that cascaded down my face and the accompanying sobs. But then I realized something. Some of the voices weren't for me. They didn't scream of the usual things that got me to break down. I opened my eyes, once again aware of Deceit a little ways away from me. My voices quieted ever so slightly as I crawled over. He had his head buried in his knees. His shoulders were shaking violently. I came to a shocking realization, and the rush of emotions that came with it restored the storm, back to full force. He was... crying.

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Hello! I'm quite sorry I haven't posted for a while, but it's here now! I tried to make a longer chapter, but it probably wasn't that long. Let me know if you guys want even longer ones. As always, please vote, it really helps. Plus, my attention-seeking self loves to see my books climbing the ranks, so you know, just a thought!