A Breakdown

An Understanding

He was actually crying? I didn't think that my maelstrom of hurt would affect anyone else, but it wasn't like anybody had ever been around me when a really violent panic attack happened.

For some reason, the fact that someone else was in anguish helped me get my own emotions in check. I managed to quiet down the screaming. Now my voices were merely sinister whispers in my ear. That helped me see that there were indeed voices that weren't targeted at myself. I crept closer to Deceit. He still had his head tucked into his knees, and he was whispering to himself.

"No. No. You're lying, like you always do. I know it. It's- it's not true. I'm- not worthless..?"

The last one sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything. Since the main "storm" had disappeared, his voices stopped bouncing around as freely and formed a sort of cocoon around him. I knew that it was almost worse like that. I moved closer, until I was right in front of him.

I took a deep breath, and plunged my hand into the middle of the cocoon. The pain and uncertainty was obvious almost immediately. I focused on absorbing it, channeling it into myself. I hadn't ever done it before, but when I was calming myself down earlier, it felt different. I thought that maybe I had accidentally taken in some of Deceit's negativity. I could probably do it again.

Little by little, I felt his pain subside, and mine increase. Oddly enough, it wasn't that bad, as if it wasn't as effective as my own voices. Deceit sniffed, and glared up at me.

"You did this. You were the one talking to me, I know it."

He was growling at me, but his voice was wavering. He was trying to convince himself, too.

"I did not. You started it, with your taunting. My abilities just affected you, triggering your self-doubt and fear," I snorted, chuckling, "as if I would voluntarily make somebody experience what I have to go through."

I moved away from him, standing up.

"You can still hear them, right?"

He nodded, surprised I knew.

"That's all you. You just have to shut them up, and they'll go away. I'm not doing anything."

Deceit closed his eyes, frowning in concentration. I saw him visibly relax after a minute. He took a few deep breaths. I reached out, offering him a hand up. He grabbed his hat from the floor and accepted.

Once he was on his feet, he stepped back.

"So," he began wearily, "it's that bad, huh?"

"Yup"

"That's why you don't like using it? It hurts you?"

"Uh huh."

"Hmm."

Deceit pondered his next question.

"Why did it get worse? I was fine until you went quiet and then it all hit, like, twice as hard."

I was expecting this question, if not a little surprised he asked. I almost didn't want to answer, because the truth was a little embarrassing after my head was clear. But, there might be a chance that I could gain a single ally today, so I decided to be truthful. I stared him dead in the eyes.

"I got my hopes up, I guess. I saw something on your face that obviously wasn't there, and when I was immediately proven wrong, I guess it kinda snapped the last of my control."

He had the audacity to snort, right in my face. In an instant, my emotional walls snapped back up. I must have looked hurt or upset, because Deceit's eyes went incredibly wide.

"Wait! I wasn't mocking you, I swear."

I raised an eyebrow. "Says the guy whose purpose is lying."

"I know, I know. Not the most credible source. But I only did that because I figured out it was what I said that made it worse. I didn't mean that you were disgusting. I just never knew how bad it could be, how bad your... attacks? Could be. That's what was horrifying to me."

Inside, I basically collapsed with relief. I didn't exactly want Deceit to continue with his plans of knocking me back down. My breakdown- this conversation- would've given him even more material to work with. But it seemed like we were well on the the way to becoming... not enemies.

"Okay then."

There was an awkward pause. Suddenly, I jerked back. I thought I had heard something right next to my ear. I dismissed it as the aftermath of earlier. Deceit actually looked concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just, thought I heard something"

Something weird happened. I thought Deceit looked angry for a split second. When I got a second look, he still looked concerned, but slightly relieved.

"Okay. I thought maybe you were gonna... you know. Do the thing again."

"Nope. I'm fine."

Another beat of silence. I spoke up.

"Well, it's been fun. But I gotta go. To be honest, I'm stupidly tired. See ya."

"Okay, bye."

I turned to leave, but felt like I shouldn't, couldn't, until I did something. I wasn't sure what to do, I just turned around again. Deceit cocked his head.

"Is there something else?"

It dawned on me.

'I should ask him if he wants to be allies. It would be nice to have one, and God knows i could use one, and he might agree after everything that just happened.'

It was a perfect idea. I knew he'd agree, how could he not?

"Well, I was wondering, are we cool? Like, allies, or whatever? I-if you want."

Mentally cursing myself for how weird the question was, I waited for his response. He hesitated for a moment, as if he was weighing pros and cons. Then he smiled. It was a little... off? But I chalked that up to him not smiling that often.

"Sure. I'd love to be."

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Hel-loooo! I hoped you liked this chapter! I'm desperately trying to make them longer. Originally, this was going to be a super short story, ending after the breakdown bit. So I'm going to have to revisit the beginning, so it makes more sense for what's currently happening. Also, SkyeTheDragon7, here's your redemption! Thank you so so much for your support! It really means a lot to me, and your suggestions are helping to shape the story. So thanks! Can't wait to see what you, and everyone else, thinks about this chapter. Bye!