A Breakdown

A Fall

I popped up in my room first, so I could 'unlock' the way in for the others. They all appeared seconds after I did. They gathered their bearings, glancing around the slightly different room. Some of my decor had changed, and the lighting was more a pale lavender than the deep indigo of the last time they had all been in my space. Roman stared wistfully at my Tim Burton posters. I sat on my bed, waiting for them to get comfortable.

Patton sat cross-legged on the floor, Logan took my desk chair, and Roman plunked down on the black bean bag in the corner.

"So, how d'you feel? Are you still good to do this?" Pat asked.

"Yeah. I think I'm okay enough to keep it in check for now, but I think I might need your help in case I slip. You could do your emotion manipulation thingy."

Patton cringed at my bluntness, obviously still uncomfortable with the idea of manipulating someone.

Roman cleared his throat, trying to get a word in.

"What's going to happen to us? Like, how is this whole thing going to work, V?"

I shrugged.

"So you have no idea."

"Nope. No clue. I don't even know if you can go with me."

Roman crossed his arms and pouted.

"Then this might end up being a waste of my time, and a dangerous one at that."

"But," Logan interjected, "it might not be a waste of time or safety. We could end up learning more about what we can do, and about what Virgil has experienced. I know Patton is quite interested in the latter. No offence to you Virgil, but I am slightly more intrigued about pushing the extent of your abilities. That may change, we'll see."

Logan turned to me.

"How are you planning to execute this?"

"Well-" I shifted nervously on the bed, "-I'm going to force myself to relive a specific memory, and focus on bringing you guys with me. I'm guessing I can extend what I relive to you, like I can with my emotions, and make you see the same things. The beginning will be the most dangerous, 'cause I have to willingly go back into a bad memory, while avoiding triggering a breakdown. That's why Patton's emotional manipulation is so important now. He can keep me stab-"

"Can we stop calling it manipulation!!" Patton yelled, interrupting me.

He quickly covered his mouth in surprise at himself as we all stared at him, stunned at the outburst. Logan leaned forward.

"Why are you so uncomfortable with that specific term? It is manipulation, is it not?"

"Well, I- uh, maybe? I don't know, I guess? It's just- just that I-"

There was a pause as Patton took a deep breath.

"It feels wrong to call it manipulation. It's what he did when he took my form. He manipulated you. Made you think everything that happened was me. That I was there, hurting you. I don't want to be like him." Patton's voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to be a bad person."

Ice cracked in my veins, and the room flickered from soft lavender to a dark purple for a split second, distorting itself.

The other two looked at me, panic and concern dashed across their faces. I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing. I tried to calm down, but it ended up getting worse. The room was back to normal, but I wasn't.

A nauseating blend of anger and fear mixed in the pits of my stomach. Deceit just being over on the Light side- being able to access the real world- was bad enough, but the fact that he was bringing my friends into it was even worse.  He hurt them, like he had hurt me. I wouldn't stand for it. I was not going to let him play his games with them.