Help Me - Tord x Reader {discontinued}

Chapter 12 - Heat of the Moment

"...Well?"
      You ask Tord as he hesitates to say anything. You examine his body language, which is mostly twiddling his thumbs nervously and trying to act casual in this public setting.

      "I'm... a criminal."
You blankly look at him, not really sure what that entails.
      "I have done... horrible things. Things I wish I could forget. I've made people do horrible things for me, even..." He looks stressed as hell, but you're still confused.
      Why am I not... afraid? Has he killed people or something? Some Charles Manson shit..?
"Y/n, there's no better way to say this." He looks down, as if he were afraid of you.
      "I'm... a leader. A leader of a criminal organization whose sole purpose is to... Um..."
      You finally look at up him and lean closer, hoping to get the rest of Tord's sentence out of him.
      He gulped again. "...to... to take over the world and take out anyone in our way."
      "What the fuck?" You say under your breath.
      "B-But, I don't WANT to be their leader anymore! I don't even want anything to do with them!" Tord whisper-shouted, moving his hand across the table to grasp yours. Your face turns red again, and this time, you're pretty conflicted. You push down your choked up voice, then quietly continue this really weird conversation.
      "Tord, I-"
He suddenly let go of your hand and looked down, avoiding all eye contact with you. "I understand if you hate me."
      "What?! No! Tord, obviously there is some... Interesting shit that has happened in your life. But..." You reach for his hand again. "I'm not going to hate you. Ever. Please... PLEASE know that."
      He looks up, blushing a bit. You haven't really seen him blush before outside of a screen, and you catch yourself smiling.
      Tord puts on a soft smile only for a few seconds before whispering to you in a semi-serious tone;
      "You should probably know why Patryk was at your house, then."
      Patryk? You nod.

"Well, as I said, I was a leader in this organization. I wasn't the main leader, there were others. I am - I was Red Leader. I had only a few henchmen, only two, actually. Paul & Patryk. I got lucky I think, because they worked really well together." He looked away for a split second, looking like he was embarrassed about something. Nonetheless, he looked back at you and continued.
      "Anyway, I... I was given a mission a few days before I met you. At this point, I was questioning a lot of this about being Red Leader. If I quit though, they would have killed me to keep it a secret."
      Your eyes widen at how casually Tord said that. You're both shocked and still worried for him.
      "This mission... Erm... It was to randomly select someone that lived in a certain radius around Edd's house. My job was to use that person to get to Edd, and ultimately..."
      He paused to look at you, thinking you would be insulted. But you were just sitting there, eyes still wide, wanting Tord to tell the whole story. He gulped again.
      "...t-to kill the three of them."
There was a long pause. Tord looked as if his heart shattered into a billion little pieces when he quietly finished his sentence. You looked all over his face, and saw his chin quivering. He tried to casually wipe his eyes before anything fell out of them, and took a deep breath before finishing his story.
      "I... I didn't want to. But I knew I had to. Those three knew way to much about me, and I was the only one who could f-finish the job." Tord wiped his eyes again, pushing his feelings down. "So... You were picked. It was perfect; You had social media everywhere, not a lot of friends nearby to questiom things... I've known almost everything about you, Y/n, since even before I messaged you for the very first time."
      You finally say something. "What... What was that letter for then..?"
      He couldn't shove his emotions down this time. Your words made him cough out one small sob, and he covered his face for a solid 20 seconds. All you could do when sitting across the table was touch his arms slightly, and just... watch.
      He sobbed once more, then aggressively wiped his entire face. He couldn't look at you, so he just stared at your hands on his sleeves.
      "All... All of the bullshit they made me do... I couldn't fucking handle it, Y/n. I was done. Wh-When I first asked you, 'do you know Edd Gould?' my job was to blow you off after you said 'no' and pick another random person near you. But, after some thought, I took this opportunity to get... my, um, message... to Edd and the other's."
      "Y/n, I..." Tord paused, and you could see his chin begin to quiver again. "...I was on the brink of suicide. It seemed like the only way out." He hesitated. "That note... You said you peaked. You know all of this already," He snickered through tears he tried to casually let go. "I don't know why I bother.
      "Tord! Don't say that," You clutched onto his arm. "I'll always listen to you."
      "Why?" He put on a smirk, looking confused, but tears were still streaming down his eyes. He hated looking weak in front of you.
      "Because I actually give a damn about you!" You say to him in an assertive tone, not actually caring about his messy appearance at the moment. You wanted to tell him more, that you give a damn because you want to spend your life with him, and that he's the best thing that has ever happened to you.
      Why'd you have to be in my life? I'm grateful, believe me, but "I really don't deserve anyone as great as you."
      Oh, shit.
Tord looked up after hearing what you mumbled, and wiped his crying face. "Y/n..?"
      "Um, s-sorry, I didn't-"
First you felt Tord's hands on your cheeks, then a warm sensation onto your lips - Your eyes widen to see Tord's face so up close, and his lips against yours. Shortly after, you close your eyes, and he breaks away.
      "Uhm... Heat of the moment, I suppose-"
      You shut him up by kissing him again, putting your arms around him.
      Criminal? I mean... Shit, that's heavy, but...
      ...I love him.