Ravishing Serenity

[ 24 ]

"Opening na bukas para sa Strand Month! Holy shit!" hindi ako umimik at pinagmasdan ko lang sila Zanea na magtitili dyan. Excited sila hindi dahil sa mga gaganapin na kung ano sa Strand Month kundi sa booth namin. Habang ako dito nakabusangot at walang pakialam.

Sinong matutuwa kung hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo sa Booth na yon? Sige nga? Kainis.

"Stop frowning nga! Baka bukas ganyan ka ng ganyan kakaltukan talaga kita!" magkadugtong na halos yata ang kilay ko kanina pa. Tiningnan ko si Misha at sarkastikong nginitian sya.

"Bakit ba kasi ayaw nyo sabihin saakin ang mangyayari bukas?" iritado kong tanong sakanila. Umiling lang sila habang kagat kagat nila ang kanilang mga labi. Hindi naman halatang masayang masaya sila na naiinis nila ako huh?

"That would be the amazing booth! For sure" Zaylee squealed and so her twin sister. I rolled my eyes and remove my make up.

I walked to the door and leave them inside my room. Today's month of September. Pero nasa kalahati na kami ng buwan ng September, obviously. Pero they consider the event na Strand Month. Though, ilang weeks lang naman sya. Oh well, papel.

Bumaba ako ng hagdan at nagtungo sa garden. Gusto ko lang makapag isip isip sa tungkol sa nangyayari sa amin ni Jaxzien. He didn't go to school since that day happened. Yung araw na nakita nya akong kasama si Maki. Nalaman ko lang yan kela Misha, mga dakila kasing tsimosa. Tapos sa mga subject teachers nya kasi halos araw araw akong binubulabog sa classroom namin.

That was the time i unblocked him sa contacts ko. Even in social media accounts i flooded him. I called him almost every damn day. Yes i am mad and i feel shit because of what he did. But still, i care for him. I still love him after-all and he's still my boyfriend, my other half. I choose to closed my eyes for a moment and feel the nature. It really relaxes me, nature relaxes me.

Later on, biglang tumunog ang door ng garden. Agad akong napamulat ng mata at napadako ang tingin ko doon. "Hey my beautiful sister" ani ni kuya habang naglalakad patungo rito sa pwesto ko.

Umusog ako at umupo sya sa tabi ko, "It really makes me happy when you're doing those things that makes you comfortable. But, lil sister, are you happy now?" napatingin ako sakanya.

"Yes i am happy now... But, i have buts." umusog ako papalapit sakanya at sumandal sa balikat nya. He's too tall kaya sya ang nag adjust. Nagslouch sya kaunti para makasandal ako ng maayos sa balikat nya.

"Let me guess. The things na humahadlang sayo para tuluyan mo nang gawin ang nagpapakomportable sayo, is the people's opinion right?" i nodded. He knows me too well.

"Why can't you just ignore them? Just try ignoring them." mariin ang kanyang pagkakasabi. Bumuntong hininga ako at marahan na napailing.

"I just can't okay? Ever since, people's opinions are important to me. They affect me so much." isinandal ni kuya ang ulo nya sa ulo ko.

"You're just trying to be fit in. That's what you're doing. You try to fit in because you don't want them to throw shades on you. You don't want to be left behind. Gusto mo lagi kang sumasabay sa uso. Gusto mong sumabay sa ginagawa ng society and you want Jaxzien's family acceptance. You're doing this not because you want to. You're doing this because you want them to say good things on you." hindi ako umimik. hinayaan kong iprocess ito sa utak ko.