Bleeding Out

Chapter Four

Things around camp have been pretty rockey. Ever since Azgeda blew up Mount Weather everyone seems to be tense.Especially Pike and his Farm Station crew. He still keeps me on edge.

I pace back and forth in front of the door where Mom, Kane, Pike and the other council members are discussing about what to do about what happened to our people in Mount Weather. "Hey." I stop pacing and look up to see Bellamy slowly walking down the hall with his Guard jacket hanging from his crossed arms. "Hey." I reply, giving him a small smile.

Bellamy has been quiet since the attack on Mount Weather, and I can understand why. Gina died in that explosion. I'll admit, I was jealous of how close Gina and Bellamy were, but not in the obsessed girlfriend way. Gina knew Bellamy on the Ark, and they grew up together. That's what I'm jealous of. She had twenty-three years of knowing and having a friendship with Bellamy, and that's something that I can't have. I've only really known him for four months.

"What are you doing here?" Bellamy asks, now standing in front of me. I shake my head of my thoughts. "I'm just waiting to speak to my mom." I say, fiddling with my fingers. "What are you doing here?" I ask, taking a small step towards him. He takes a step towards me. "I need to talk to Kane."

My eyes drift down to the jacket in his arms. "Is it about that?" I ask, gesturing towards it. Bellamy grips the jacket in his hands tightly,his knuckles going slightly white. "I don't deserve this jacket." He says, his eyes finding the floor and not moving from the spot in front of his feet. "Bell, I..."

The door opens, and Pike is the first to walk out, and he does not look happy. Bellamy and I wait as the other Council members file out of the room until just my mom and Kane are inside, whispering to each other. When my mom steps away, Bellamy walks in, and I follow after him.

"Sir." He whispers, catching Kane's attention. I hang back a little as Kane asks why Bellamy's not at his post. I watch sadly as Bellamy doesn't say anything but just lays down his Guard jacket on the table in front of Kane. "Don't do this." I hear Kane beg, and I purse my lips as I watch Bellamy's shoulders deflate.

"Forty-nine of the people I swore to protect died yesterday because I left." Tears spring to my eyes as I finally realize that Bellamy is blaming himself for what Azgeda did. For what Echo did. "That's not your fault, Bellamy." Kane says, trying to sounds reassuring. "Place the blame where it belongs. On the Ice Nation."

I watch as Bellamy shakes his head. "The Ice Nation didn't tell Gina to stay there. That was me." My breath catches in my throat at his words, and I find myself unable to move. Thankfully, Kane stands up from his seat and places a hand on Bellamy's shoulder and looks him in the eye. "Given the information you had at the time, you made a reasonable choice. You were trying to save lives."

I finally move my feet to stand next to Bellamy and look up at his face to see tears welling in his eyes. "But I didn't." He says, his voice breaking slightly, causing my heart to do the same. He sighs before turning and leaving the room without another word.

I let out a heavy breath as tears begin falling from my eyes. "How can I help him?" I ask the question but don't really expect an answer as I look to Kane. "He is hurting so bad, and there's nothing I can do." I wipe at my eyes as I let out another ragged breath.

I'm pulled into a hug, and I return it, digging my face into his jacket. "You just need to be there for him." Kane says, causing me to choke back a sob. "But how do I do that?" I ask, pulling away from the hug and wiping at my tears again. "Show him how much you love and care for him."

I straighten myself and nod. "Thanks Kane." A small smile comes onto the man's face, and he nods. I take another deep breath before turning and walking out of the room, towards where I know Bellamy will be. The Mount Weather memorial.