Kept from God

XXIII ||

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  And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. - 2nd Timothy 2:26

Modesty 9:15pm

I walked in the house with all the lights on and it smelling like a soul food restaurant. Chris's keys were gone off te counter, so I was assuming that he left. 

I sat my shopping bags  on the kitchen island catching my mothers attention.  "Hey" He spoke up. "Hey" I mumbled watching her flip chicken. "Where's Chris?" I asked her.

"He left not too long ago, He was rushing out I don't know why" She shook her head with a small chuckle. I sat down at the bar stool watching her move around the kitchen, I wasn't used to seeing her cook so it was intriguing to watch. "Are you hungry, I made a lot"  She asked me turning off the grease "Nah I'm coo" I answer

She nods washing her hands. I looked a lot like her. I cleared my throat "So what did you wanna talk about?" 

"Oh, I didn't know if you were settled or not" She walks over to the living room area and sits down on the couch. She pats the seat next to her. "Come sit" She was way too comfortable that I already am getting irritated, I walked over and sat in the chair instead of next to her like she wanted. I saw the disappointment in her eyes but I didn't let it affect me. 

I crossed my legs and my arms waiting for her to start talking. 

"Well uh.. The night you left--" "The night you chose a nigga over me? yeah I remember" I say. 

She looks down with a chuckle. "Yeah.. I made a mistake and I knew that I did --" 

"Bullshit, You was high as hell" I laughed " You ain't know shit that was coming out your mouth"

"Modesty--" "No really... Do you remember the shit you told me? You remember telling me how I need to grow up?" I asked her. 

She kept quiet "You remember telling me how never get to do stuff for you? How you wished you never met my dad ? Because I do"  

"Modesty I ... I didn't mean to say any of that --" 

"Then what did you mean?" I cut her off. She says nothing stumbling over her words over and over again. I shook my head getting up "I can't believe you" I began to walk out of the living room. 

"Modesty hold on!" She shouted. My back turned to her. I listened to what she had to say 

"That night was the last night.. The last night I used Modesty. I've been trying to get myself together so I can see you again... To tell you that I never wanted to hurt you." I could hear soft crying. "And I know I've been a shit excuse of a mother and I don't expect you to hug me, I don't expect you to forgive me , but I want you to listen to me" 

Though I could feel myself wanting to just go in my room and lock the door I turned around, I walked back in the living room and sit in the chair. She sits back down too.