Never Have I Ever Fallen in Love

Chapter 11

Have you ever had nights when your body just refuses to let you sleep? Like...it knows something bad is going to happen? Or it feels as if someone is watching you from the darkest corner, just waiting to attack and injure you when you're at the highest peak of vulnerability? 

It was normally my brothers who used to wait for me to be half asleep until they attacked me. The number of injuries I had growing up was actually ridiculous yet terrifyingly real and normal for me. Damn, having a family like mine, you had to get used to cuts, bruises and broken bones. They were just a way of life.

Jaxon was the worst. He gave me a black eye and several broken ribs once. Why? He was drunk and high and in desperate need of money to give to the prostitute he had just bought home. I would refuse to give him a penny for his disgusting habits so his drunken self would normally beat me to a bloody pulp then ransack my room anyway. Other times, Tristen would come and stick up for me, normally getting the brute force of Jaxon's anger while I left. I hated to say it, but I sometimes did leave and let Tristen get beat instead of me. Other times, I stayed and tried to protect Tristen the best I could.

When I was 10, he was only a mere year older than me, making him 11. My other 2 brothers, Luca and Kellin, were several years older than us and was 14 and 15. Jaxon was the oldest at 16 and would often remind us all by shoving a smashed beer bottle in our faces or breaking a limb or two. Basically, he tried to keep us in line and make sure we were all miserable whenever he could. He liked the power that came with reminding us our junkie mum abandoned us but tried to get clean for him, or telling us everything was fine until Kellin showed up. Then Luca...then Tristen...then me. He said we were the ones who made our mother go crazy and take more drugs than she could manage. He said it was our fault that our dad often raped her and beat her until she was barely recognizable.

According to him, it was all our fault.

Luca and Kellin eventually wore sick of it when they were in their 3rd year of high school and started fighting back. They started fighting with Jaxon at school and other kids started getting involved causing one big mob of hormonal teenagers fighting each other for an unknown reason. The teachers didn't approve and quickly excluded Luca, Kellin and Jaxon. Tristen and I was still young and naive and just stayed out of the way of the 3 when they started laying into each other.

Out of my 4 brothers, I definitely preferred Tristen. We helped each other over the years. He would often go out and steal concealer for me to try and hide my bruises and black eyes and because he refused to wear makeup, I used to steal him bags of frozen peas. He would help my with the shit that was called calculus homework and he actually made it to the year where he could leave school, promising me he would finish school and take me away from our 'family.' He promised me this everyday and a long time before met Daryl.

He really did want to help me try and achieve something other than a night in the cells in my life and you don't realize how grateful I was towards him. But with the attitude of my other brothers rubbing off on me, it was hard maintaining that positive attitude and I soon dropped out of high school and turned to smoking and booze. It got even worse when Tristen ran away.

The years that followed were torture. With Tristen gone, Jaxon started beating me more. Luca and Kellin also started becoming abusive and they became friends with Daryl and Merle Dixon. Daryl was the same age as Kellin but Merle was nearly 10 years older. The 4 of them used to always come back to my house, high as kites and so loud, the police were called by the neighbours several times. 

That's how I met Daryl. He came stumbling into the bathroom just as I was getting out of the shower. I had screamed. He just found it funny. I walloped him and ran out of the room and into mine to quickly throw on some clothes and leave the house.

For the months that followed, Daryl regularly came over with his brother and my two brothers only, each time, he became less and less drunk and high until he was completely sober and we actually shared the odd 'Hello'...

I guess something positive came out of a negative situation...