Thorns and Roses ❦ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them ❦ Newtina

Chapter Twenty One

Tina was immersed in her book, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Her short and choppy hair was pulled back with a headband and she gnawed on her lip in concentration as she stood at the edge of the sidewalk awaiting the Knight Bus. She was so close to finding something, but her mind was just a massive fill in the blank without an answer key. As she waited for the Knight Bus, Tina's head jerked up and she offered a tired but kindly grin upon seeing Newt. Her heart ached at the sight of him, his hair tangled, clothes ragged, and his hands shoved into his pockets. He wouldn't look at her, though that wasn't out of the ordinary either. Not after what she'd done. She closed her book onto a finger, marking her page. "Hello, Newt," She said quietly, so as not to disturb the sleeping houses around her. Newt simply nodded at her, refusing to raise his gaze from the ground.

This was a nightly occurrence. Tina would board the Knight Train after a long day working at the ministry, and Newt would find a way to approach her. He would never say more than a few words -- more often than not, he wouldn't say anything -- and would leave once the Knight Bus arrived. Tina knew what he was doing. He was still protecting her, even after she'd broken all of her promises. That's what they did; they protected each other. Despite what Tina had done to him. It made her feel like a criminal. She didn't deserve the kindness Newt dedicated to her time and time again, not after she'd left him shattered outside her bedroom door. And she was still staying at his parents' place.

She took the Knight bus to avoid walking home with Newt, or even worse, apparating at the same time and arriving in his presence, colliding with him. Even using the Floo Network was too risky. The Knight Bus was fast, but arrival times were never reliable. Neither was Tina's love, she told herself, so she found it fitting to take something reminiscent of it. Tina would never admit that to Newt. She'd told him on her first nightly encounter with him that she enjoyed the time alone to study Credence's case, as if she didn't spend every waking moment trying to find him and Grindelwald's whereabouts. It wasn't hard for her to get immersed in her research and lose the day scouring through international newspapers, potential sightings, interviewing people and analyzing the attacks. Theseus had told her she was crazy for dedicating so much time to finding and rescuing someone who had tried to kill her. He said Credence was better off dead after the Ministry ambush. Tina had told him he was pathetic and almost got herself kicked out of the office, but, as always, Newt sided with her and ended the argument.

"Hello, Newt," Tina repeated, mustering up the courage to utter something to him again. It came out more like a whisper, so she cleared her throat and spoke again. "Newt," She said plainly, and that caught his attention, though it came out much harsher than she'd meant to. Softly, she added, "Hi," a blush creeping up her cheeks. This wasn't going well. He was going to ignore her, or worse, finally acknowledge what a horrible person she was. She had broken his heart beyond repair.

It had pained her, all those nights, knowing that a few doors down, Newt was likely losing himself in his work - keeping himself busy, too busy. Busy enough to forget the ache that accompanied him day and night, ignoring the incessant reminders of what once was. That is, until he curled up under the covers and it took every ounce of strength in him not to lose himself in his sorrow. Tina yearned for him to understand that she, too, was hurt: she didn't want to live a life without him in it, but she had to. Every night, when she crawled under the thick blankets of her bed, she silently sobbed as the pain in her chest peaked and her entire world shattered. Life as she knew it was ending: there was a war, and then there was a love, a love she had ended prematurely because she wanted to protect him.

Newt looked up and quickly looked down again. "Hello," he replied to the grass beneath his shoes. Boots, rather, the faded leather material faux and creased. His knuckles whitened as he tightened his grip on his case, avoiding Tina's gaze at all costs. It was just to protect her, he told himself. He kept himself in her presence solely to make sure that she would always have someone guarding her. In case something happened.

Something had happened, he was reminded. It was what had caused the pain of the last few days, weeks... Newt couldn't remember anymore. All he could remember was the sound of her sobbing through the walls of her bedroom, her cries starting seconds before his did. The sound of her head thumping against the door as she cried brokenly against it rang through his mind. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

In times of war, happiness was a rare thing. When muggles were being murdered left and right, ideas of "magic people" spreading around London, around the world, happiness was something precious. Tina, though Newt refused to admit it to himself regularly, was his source of happiness. Of course, there were his beasts, however, none provided him the love and affection he received from Tina. Tina was his light in the dark.

Tina smiled nervously at Newt, gesturing toward him before interlocking her hands behind her back. "How have you been?" She asked, her voice quiet. Though Newt did not see it, she gazed at him softly, her eyes gentle, as if she were approaching a wounded animal. Newt did not reply. He simply moved his head lower and took a sharp inhale. Tears brimmed at his eyes, and he didn't want Tina to see them. He was ashamed of his reaction. This woman, that he loved so dearly, that he was trying to protect, was speaking to him, and he couldn't even muster up the courage to speak to her. He didn't have to, though, for Tina added, "I'm glad you're here."

Those four words cut deeply into him, and Newt fought to keep his body from flinching. He could hardly contain the love he had for Tina, and yet... he couldn't give it to her. Not when it was unsafe, not when they both had targets on their backs. There would come a time and place – just not when Grindelwald was still in power.

Newt's silence seemed to trouble Tina; she frowned, turned away from him, then turned back toward him, all while he continued his staring contest with the ground. "I know why you're here," she said, and at that, Newt startled.

It was a given, why Newt was there. Both knew it. But for Tina to acknowledge it verbally was an entirely different challenge. She sighed, and continued, "I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, but don't you think it makes for a more desirable target? I mean, you and I, in the same spot, waiting for a bus that never arrives on time. Something could happen, and I..." Tina trailed off, her brows furrowing and eyes welling up with tears. Her voice wavered as she said, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"What about you?" Newt asked quietly, almost too quiet to hear. Tina's head snapped up, and she was surprised to see he was looking at her under his curls. "What about... what about, if you were here alone? Who would protect you?" His words came out almost like a plea. Newt couldn't bear to see Tina hurt, yet again hurt because he chose not to be there, to protect her. In the evenings, after she boarded the Knight Bus, Newt would wait until he heard her arrive, counting down the seconds until he would leave to track the godforsaken bus down.

With full confidence, Tina replied, "I can protect myself. If I can't, well... you know who to call." She turned to face him then, resisting the urge to hold his face in her hands. Tina thought for a moment, then looked back at him, her face as gentle as her tone. "That's what you and I do: we protect each other."

Newt opened his mouth as if he were about to reply, but as he did, a light shined brightly and the sound of squealing brakes filled the air. The purple bus pulled up to the curb, the familiar face of the conductor coming into view. Tina looked once at Newt, and once at the conductor, then back. Newt refused to look at her, his gaze now on the road underneath the bus' wheels. "Goodnight, Newt," Tina said sadly. She took a few steps up the stairs, grabbed onto the door, and turned her head. Quickly, she muttered, "I'll see you at the estate." With a moment's hesitation, she climbed into the bus and barely had time to sit down before the bus lurched forward and took off, the shrunken head making a rather loud comment about how long it took Tina to board the bus.

With his hands in his pocket, Newt turned his head slightly to watch the bus speed away. He caught Tina's eye through the back window and winced, kicking a few rocks around with his foot.

Newt dug around his pocket, his hand shaking. He gripped a piece of parchment firmly in his hand, the ink fresh where he had written. Tears fell out of his eyes as he clutched the paper and turned it over, staring at the handwriting across the front:

"To Tina, My Beloved."