Loving you is like SUICIDE

CHAPTER 13

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"SAAN KA GALING?! SINO YUNG LALAKI KAHAPON NA SUMAGOT SA PHONE MO?! AT BAKIT HINDI KA NATULOG DITO KAGABI?!" Iyan ang mga salitang sumalubong sa akin pagdating ko sa bahay.

"Bakit ba?! Ano ba ang pakealam mo?! Wala naman diba? At kung hindi ka sana nakikipaghalikan sa babae mo kahapon edi sana dito ako natulog!!! Kung makapagsalita ka naman akala mo ako pa ang may kasalanan!" Galit na galit kong sagot sa kanya. Sino ba siya?! He's just my HUSBAND FROM A FREAKING PAPER!

Ako pa daw talaga ang pinapagalitan ha? Siya naman ang may kasalanan.

Tumalikod ako at hinanap ang mga maleta na dala ko kahapon pero wala.

"Asan yung mga damit ko?!" I snapped at him.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Singhal nito sa akin.

"Where the heck are my clothes?!" sigaw ko parin sa kanya.

"Sabi kong huwag mo akong kausapin ng ganyan. Asan ka ba kahapon ha?! Answer me!" singhal ulit niya sa akin at iniharap ako sa kanya.

"YOU.DON'T.CARE!" I said each word with force.

"TELL ME!" He said angrily at hinawakan ang mga balikat ko ng mahigpit.

"Bitiwan mo nga ako! Nasasaktan na ako!" I shouted at him masakit na talaga ang mga balikat ko and I'm not feeling well siguro dahil sa hangover ko.

"Bakit ba ang tigas ng ulo mo Dara! Just tell me!" sigaw nito.

Wala na akong lakas and I can feel na mahihimatay na ako. Tinignan ko siya, His eyes were full of anger but meron akong nakita na nagpabilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

He is worried. Pero bakit? Diba wala siyang pakialam sa akin?

Tumitig ako sa mata niya, I still love him.

"Dara! Answer me!" I heard him say.

But before I could answer him my body collapsed and all things became black.

~~~

I feel dizzy, I opened my eyes and the lights... ouch masakit sa mata, where am I again?

"Gising ka na pala"

Tumingin ako sa left ko and Jander was sitting beside the bed. Bakit siya andito?

"Why are you here?" tanong ko.

"Kwarto natin ito"

Dahil wala akong lakas para magalit I just said " Please kahit ngayon lang Jander, tantanan mo muna ako I don't feel well, Gusto kong mapag-isa please"

"Fine" he said at umalis ng kwarto. After he left I cried hindi ko alam pero gusto kong umiyak at ilabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

I miss him. The Jander that I met. I miss my boyfriend. I badly miss him and I still Love him...

Sana lahat ng ito ay panaginip lang...a nightmare.

But...

This is the reality now. He is my Cassanova husband. He gives me pain. He played me like a toy but last but not the least He doesn't LOVE me.

Narinig ko ang cellphone kong tumutunog...that's when I came back to reality and wiped my tears...tumayo na ako at hinanap ang phone ko.

"Hello?" Hindi ko na tinignan ang caller ID.

".."

"Hello? Sino ito?" I asked.

".."

"Hellooo? Anybody there?" tanong ko ulit. Sino ba ito?

Tinignan ko na yung caller ID kasi wala paring sumasagot pero its an unregistered number.

"Sino po sila?" I asked I kinda felt nervous.

"Dara"

"Si-Sino po kay--" Hindi ko natuloy yung sinasabi ko because the call ended.

Who is that? Lalaki naman ata eh...the voice was somewhat familiar? Kilala ko kaya siya? Maybe I was just paranoid baka nanloloko lang iyon. Just forget it Dara.

I sighed and called my dad.

"Dad, When is our College Entrance Exam?" I asked.

"Oh Yes! Buti natanong mo by the way this is the first time na excited kang mag-aral are you okay?" nagtatakang tanong nito.

"I want to be busy dad and I think atleast I don't have to always think about these pains kapag nasa School na ako" I plainly said.

"Okay I understand you, I just wanna say sorry"

"Its okay dad so when is it?"

"This coming saturday 'Lyn"

"Thats good then bukas na pala by the way dad my course did not change its still Bachelor of Science in Business Administration, I want to help our company"

"I'm so proud of you my daughter" He answered.

"Sige Dad bye na I have to go and take care of yourself okay? You sound very ti don't over stress yourself with work, bye Love you Dad"

"Don't worry I'll be fine, you too take care of yourself and I love you more 'Lyn" I heard him say before the line was gone.

I have to go on with my life then...Lets get ready for tomorrow.

Kelangan ko ng i-unpack lahat ng gamit ko. I have to stay here because its for the sake of our business at ginusto ko ito eh kaya I have to, even though I don't like it and I hate it.

Patapos na ako sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit ko ng marinig ko ang marahan na pagbukas ng pinto.

"Dinner is ready and by the way hindi tayo magshashare ng room I don't wanna go to sleep sa babaeng tulad mo, Isang whore" narinig kong sabi nito.

Mariin kong pinikit ang mga mata ko. I am not still feeling well at ayaw ko pang makipag-argue sa kanya. So I just kept quite at itinuloy ang pag-aayos ko ng mga damit.

I heard his footsteps na papalayo. He was too much already! Whore? Iyan ba ang tingin niya sa akin? Connected ba ito kahapon? Dahil sa ogre na iyon? He was just accusing me without knowing the whole truth. Bahala na siya dyan if that's what he think then go, I will just keep quite and I will keep my mouth shut.

Ano yung sabi pa niya kanina when I asked him kung bakit siya andito sa kwarto? He said "kwarto natin ito" right? He is so confusing bahala na siya sa buhay niya basta ako I will live my life.

I went down after kong matapos magligpit ng mga gamit ko. Ayaw ko sana but my stomach was growling and I know gutom na talaga ako.

Pagkababa ko it was so dark. The lights were off akala ko ba kakain na? And where is Jander? Bahala na nga, hinanap ko ang kitchen using my cellphone as my flashlight and after maybe 30 minutes nahanap ko na, don't ask me why because I am not familiar with this house okay?

I opened the refregirator. "Hmmm what shall I eat?"

Habang tumitingin ako ng makakain sa ref biglang may humila sa akin kaya napasigaw ako.

"Why are you late? Diba sabi ko naman kanina kakain na tayo?" narinig kong sabi ni Jander malapit sa tenga ko at nararamdaman ko ang hininga niya sa leeg ko, nakikiliti ako.He was holding my waist more like maybe hugging me? I can't see him.

"Bi-bitawan mo ako" sabi ko pero wala akong lakas dahil sa lapit niya sa akin. My knees were like jelly.

"tch" I heard him say and the last thing I know his lips was on mine.

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