Valerie 🥀 • jb x bh

thirty four

Justin

No matter how much I tried, I could never stop crying. I ran and ran until I reached the lake. I collapsed on my knees and my shoulders shook as anger, guilt and regret spilled out of my body through tears.

Everything was going so well between us. I was really feeling that I had gotten rid of this side of me. I was starting to think that Valerie would never have to see me like.

I can't even imagine how she's feeling right now. I don't have the guts to go back and see her gone.

*Self harm content ahead, do not read if uncomfortable*

I don't have the guts to face life without her either. I looked down at my arms.

The scars had faded to nothing and they were all gone and impossible to spot because of the tattoos.

My skin itched to be ripped apart again.

I looked around me to find anything sharp. But everywhere I looked, it was just foliage.

But then I spotted a broken piece of glass. I reached for it and grazed my thumb on its sharp edge and swallowed.

You've been clean for too long to do this again.

Fuck it, I had gone so long being in control of myself but I gave in. I fucking deserve this.

"Aargggh" I groaned in pain after drawing a line of blood on the inside of my arm with with its pointed edge.

But it hurt Nothing compared to how much it hurt me inside for what I just did to Valerie.

My hand repeated another line below the previous one.

I went on and I think it was my fifth one when I heard familiar voices.

I heard Dad, mom, Ava....and Valerie too. They were all calling out my name.

I shook my head and moved on to the sixth line. I'm just hallucinating now, there's no way Valerie would come find me.

Valerie

"Hey would come to this lake sometimes. Maybe he's here this time too" Carl said and I nodded.

We got out of the car and Laura and Ava pulled up behind us too.

We all started walking through the trees, the leaves getting crushed beneath our feet, making a loud sound.

All the three of them started calling out for Justin. I managed to shout his name too, despite of my shaky voice.

"He's over there!" Ava pointed out and we all saw Justin's figure sitting by the lake.

"Justin!" I ran to him and the others followed.

I gasped when I reached near him and saw what he was doing.

With a piece of broken glass in his hand, he had made numerous cuts in his arms and continued doing so, ignoring the blood that was gushing out of every cut like a river.

"Justin what are you doing!" I screamed and grabbed the piece of glass and threw it away and he finally looked up at me with his blood shot eyes.

"Valerie?" He whispered to himself and I got down on my knees beside him.

"Are you insane?! Why would you do that" I sobbed taking his arm in my hand carefully.

His lower lip quivered as he tried to speak.

"You aren't supposed to be here" He said.

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!" I screamed at him.

"Val, let's just take him to a hospital first and get the wounds cleaned, God knows the amount of poison that piece of glass is going to cause in his blood" Ava said.