It Ain't Just Fame || BTS #BangtanAwards2018 #Wattys2018

JIMIN

‌"Hyung I still can't find my black underwear!" I could hear Jungkook yelling, from our tiny living room.Honestly, the boy still doesn't have a single clue that it was yoongi hyung all along.Few minutes back I caught him tucking it inside his drawer and I couldn't help but giggle, which startled him as he turned towards me with eyebrows raised "what? why are you laughing?" He asked. "Hyung that's Kookie's underwear isn't it?" I giggled. His eyes widened, it seemed like they would pop out of their sockets any second. 'Just caught Yoongi hyung' looked so cute. Who would have thought that the man who always spits fire would have such a cute and silly side to himself." Don't you dare spill the beans to him!" he threatened me with his famous death glare. I gulped. "Er.. Okie hyung I won't" I said but couldn't stop giggling and it went to the point that I bursted out laughing, clutching my stomach and ended up on the floor. "H-hyung U-underwear seriously" I laughed hard, earning a scoff from him. "Look...jiminie I just ran out of undies so..... So I kinda borrowed it from him except that, without him knowing and it's not like you know... Er.... Ugh" He started pulling his hair. I was rolling on the floor all along. "Ugh... Okay fine I stole it from him! The dude doesn't even let others borrow his freaking pen! What was I supposed to do?, like go to him and tell 'Kookie I was running out of undies so just borrowed yours' so that he can start with his remarks about how gross I am. Also I have to maintain my swag infront of the kid" he said scowling "Jeez... Hyung okay okay... you don't need to explain that much, I get it. I will keep the secret." I said while he slumped his shoulders with relief. I gave him a faint smile lost in deep thoughts. 

"Jimin-ah.. I'm happy to see you smile like this. Always keep smiling buddy. " He said, flashing his gummy smile.

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‌I immediately tensed up clenching my fists, everything came back crashing to me like a hard slap across my face.The fear gripping me again at the pit of my stomach making me nauseous.

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‌" Chim.. I know that you've been stressing yourself a lot lately with practice and stuff. I've seen you practicing infront of the mirror late at night when everyone were asleep. Please don't overwork yourself Jimin."

‌he said looking concerned.

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‌Tears threatened to fall down my cheeks as I bit my lip hard trying not to burst out infront of him. No, I couldn't just cry infront of him or any other members. I don't want them to know about my state. It would only make them more worried and affect their practice and concentration. And I don't want that.. I wouldn't want that. I can't be selfish enough to ruin their happiness. I had to be strong and put up a happy facade for now, though I'm dying from the inside. I know it's hard but atleast I could try.

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‌"You know, We believe in you Jimin. A lot lot more than you think." he said.

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‌I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. I couldn't handle this. They had so much faith in me and it broke me further. I grit my teeth painfully, trying hard not to cry. It was suffocating me now. I felt so pressurised with all my thoughts. They trusted me and I was so scared that I was Unworthy. I couldn't fail them, no I can't. My head was spinning with thoughts giving me a headache. I had to escape this feeling somehow.

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‌"Chim...are you okay? "He asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

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‌" Er..yes I'm fine hyung. Thankyou for believing in me so much hyung. It really means a lot to me." I said managing the fakest smile ever.

‌" Don't thank me Jimin, you deserve it the most. "he said smiling at me.