It Ain't Just Fame || BTS #BangtanAwards2018 #Wattys2018

Jungkook

I stare at the Lamb Skewers Yoongi Hyung brought from me before the hyungs along with our CEO went out, leaving me alone with Jimin Hyung and Tae Hyung. It is either this or the matter that worries my hyungs the most...

I chose the latter and I sneaked across the room to Taehyungie hyung's cot where he slept. The room is tiny with a small single cot for me and 3 bunk beds that the hyungs shared. Tae hyung slept on the upper berth and so I have to climb the ladder to accomplish my mission. I heard Jimin hyung taking a bath in his bathroom. As I walk across the tiny room, I take a small visit to my memory lane, to the time I entered this building for the 1st time. I was 13 years old back then ...

I knew the person has to go through certain difficulties to become an idol... My inspiration, my idol, was and is and forever will be G-Dragon Sunbaenim but I never knew the amount of hardships and depression one has to endure to succeed.

I am extremely shy and always like to keep my agonies and happiness to myself...My passion for music lead me to sing and dance. People will probably call me an idiot for Choosing a small entertainment company that was nicknamed as "Nobody's Company", just for one person, a rapper, Namjoon hyung.

The hardcore practices and heavy schedules never bother me because I like challenges. I put up a brave face as I talk to my hyungs and the producer-nim even though I am worried and anxious every time a camera faces me. It is easy to pretend to be strong than to show my weaker self to the people I am not close with.

I slowly let go of my shy self and it was then I realized that the hyungs are suffering more than me. I am extremely fast. But the guilt that covers me up when I see them struggling, to hit a particular note or dance a particular move that I could perform in seconds, is way faster. I sing well, and according to Namjoon hyung, I am a good rapper too and that how I earned my position as Main Vocalist and Sub Rapper. Thanks to my dance training in America, I am doing a great job at dancing too, gaining me a position in the dance line along with Hobi Hyung and Jimin hyung.

My homesickness never left me. Even though 6 hyungs here take good care of me, I terribly missed my Eomma, Appa and Hyung. I sometimes burst out in the middle of the night and hear Hoseok hyung whisper something really encouraging back at me without asking me anything. I think that is why having fun with him easier than with other hyungs.

I resurfaced from the memories and climb up the ladder and search for Taehyungie hyung's mobile phone. Something in Twitter and other SNS is breaking my hyungs... Every day they talk about it but as soon as I enter, they stop it. Our CEO even prohibited me to use Twitter till I am 17. I slowly lift up the pillow that Hyung hugs to sleep usually, to find his phone and take it swiftly and move to my bed.

I enter his password and open Twitter. I know there must be hate. I knew people didn't like us. I can see it from their eyes every time we perform on the stage. But I never expected to see this.

It was as if all the hates and criticisms from all parts of the country were flooded right on top of us!

"Hip-hop? I never knew 7 boys with makeup, black clothing, and gold accessories is called hip-hop!"

"No More Dream? A song telling kids to do whatever they want and portraying roguish and rebel behavior in the video. You call that a song?"

"No talent at all! Who let them debut?"

"Who names their group Bulletproof Boy Scouts? Go do what boy scouts are supposed to do! Stop spoiling music!"

And so many more but I didn't stop...

I read them all silently taking in what this cruel industry has been telling us. But before I could scroll further, Taehyungie hyung pulled his phone from my hand and yelled," Yah! What did I tell you about touching my stuff without my permission? And do not pout as if you didn't do any mistake. ", he added knowing that it will my immediate reaction whenever someone yells at me. It's true, but today its different...