Fault Line (Bellarke)

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Clarke

Dear Bellamy Blake,

You drown yourself in your own guilt everyday.

If you gave me a chance I would take it, you are a shining light in the darkness, but you fail to realize just how bright you burn. As long as we're together, nothing will hurt you, I promise

I won't let you hurt yourself. Not anymore.

Yours truly,
Clarke

***

He lay next to me, sound asleep. Our faces were almost touching as I watched his heavy breathing, the rise and fall of his chest. He looked so beautiful in the moonlight, his most natural state.

Last night, we were so tired that without question, we just fell asleep next to each other.

Bellamy appreciation day is everyday, and as much as I hated to admit it, I could really get used to the sight of his breathtaking face every day.

I could just be a normal person and fall head over heels for him, but I knew this was a very dangerous path to take as the consequences would be brutal. It would be difficult, because he hasn't learnt to love himself, let alone love someone else, but why was my heart still beating a mile a minute?

Every time I looked at perfect face, I remembered his broken heart, and it made me even more attached to him than before.

The pain in his eyes pained me for some reason, despite everything he told me tonight. It just made me want to stay with him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he wasn't the monster that he thought he was, that he has adapted himself to try and be,  punishing himself for it.

I rested my hand on his face and stroked it gently. He stirred slightly and shifted closer to me. The first light of dawn was cracking through and emerging through the glass windows, the sky turning lighter and lighter by the ticking seconds.

He was so vulnerable, in contrast to his powerful persona at work. At work, he frightened everyone like he was the prowling cat and they were the mice, all scuttling to safety within their designated workloads.

But here, he was just a guy with too many battle wounds. A souls with a heart beating out of fear and regret, guilt and extreme remorse.

I lay there for hours, just watching intently, his gentle breathing. Then he whispered a name.

"Julia..."

Who is Julia?

***

It was the hardest thing I had done in a while, but I managed to slip out of Bellamy's bed. I didn't want to leave the warmth of his bed. The presence of another human being beside me.

However, I knew I had to leave and go back to my own room.

Before leaving, I shot one last glance and the sleeping soul on the bed. He pulled at the fitted sheet in his sleep and I automatically reached under the mattress to correct it.

Is this...paper?

I pulled out a folded piece of paper, frowning at the strange location.

Perhaps I shouldn't read it? If Bellamy put it there then he may have done so for a reason, to keep it from prying eyes.

My curiosity battled me in a harsh match.

What if it's nothing and he doesn't care.

I knew it was wrong, and I hated myself for it because my fingers steadily, started to unfold the crumpled paper note in my hands. Like they had a mind of their own.

The calligraphy of the letter was breathtaking, written in delicate cursive writing. A woman's writing?

My dear beloved Bellamy,
Today a patient came in with a wounded shoulder, he claimed that you saved him from death by risking your life and carrying him out of the bombs range.

I couldn't be more proud of you. I miss you more than I can express, not a day goes by when I don't think about you and await your return.

I'll always be here, waiting for you. I love you.

Yours truly, Julia x

Bellamy stirred on the bed till he was facing me. I carefully folded the letter and placed it back exactly where I found it.

"You sir, have many secrets don't you," I said wearily and pulled the covers up around him. "I'm sorry for sticking my nose in your business all the time but maybe one day you can tell me about Julia?"

When he didn't move, I laughed to myself and decided I was definitely talking to myself. Yet this small part of me felt sad and alone. Like suddenly, after reading that letter, my feelings have changed.

What is this I'm feeling? Jealousy?

It kinda stung to find out someone else loved Bellamy so much, and vice versa that he mutters her name at night.

My room was cold, dark and unwelcoming having lacked human presence.

The bed seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden and lacked the heavenly comfort that it had last night. Maybe because Bellamy's bed was a billion times comfier.

Yawning, I crawled into my own bed and watched the sky getting lighter and lighter. I would have to rise soon, but not yet. It allowed me time to gather my personal thoughts and absorb the events of last night.

"I'll always be here, waiting for you. I love you."

"Where is Julia now Bellamy," I said to the darkness around me. "What happened to her? And why have you never spoken of her before?"

I knew it was absolutely none of my business to stick my nose into his life, but for some reason it pestered me more than it should have.

Why do I even care so much? Does it matter?

Somehow, it did matter.

***

A/N: so Clarke found a letter from Julia 🤔 do you think it was wrong of Clarke to read it? Or do you think she needed to see it?

And how will these events affect the Bellarke relationship?

Find out the aftermath next chapter! 😉

YOURS TRULY
Kitty x
😛