DESIGNER | LUCAS

twenty three | starting again

"maybe back then,
if i had a little more courage
and stood before you,
would everything be different now?"
- truth untold, bts

—4AM.

securely, lucas wrapped his arms around jane for what felt like hours as she sobbed onto his chest. feeling an array of emotions, lucas' mind began to wander what was going on. he was scared. he was confused. he was lost. his heart was aching more each second as she cried, and his grip tightened, but he was careful — he didn't want to hurt her. he was afraid to lose her to her emotions, he was afraid that she would slip away. he was so afraid, even though he knew nothing about the cause of her tears.

eventually, she began to calm down, and they found themselves sitting down on a bench. jane started to regret crying in front of him. she should've held it in. she should've hid the pain behind a facade; she knew lucas too much to know that he wouldn't stop asking her what happened.

"lucas?" jane spoke out quietly, making the boy's head turn abruptly.

"yes?"

"i'm sorry." jane began to look down at her feet and played with her hands, disappointment plastered on her face.

"even after all these years, you say sorry after everything. even when it's not your fault." lucas sighed as he looked at her.

"i'm s-"

"i know you too well, don't say sorry for saying sorry, jane." a laugh slipped out from his mouth.

"yeah, i guess you do.." jane began to laugh with him. she didn't notice that a smile began to form on her face.

"do you remember that time in high school when that guy, minhyuk, ripped your blazer and put ketchup on it because you accidentally sprayed your perfume on his girlfriend?"

jane chuckled. "unfortunately.. and he continued to bully me. but one day, he just, i don't know, left me alone.. he never messed with me again.."

"it's because i made him sit on the ledge of the rooftop, where i put superglue on it. i told him that if he messed with you again, i'd beat him up senseless."

"lucas, what the hell?" jane started to laugh hard as she looked at the boy dumbfounded.

"obviously i wouldn't beat him up, but let's just say i carried superglue with me all the time.."

"what happened after?"

"he got up and he trousers ripped, and i swear i saw spongebob on his underwear! he went downstairs and people started laughing at him, but i guess you went home early that day."

"man, i wish i saw that.. no wonder he would look away when we made eye contact.. why didn't you tell me you did that?"

"i don't know.. i felt the need to protect you. you ar- you were mine.. and i just want you to know that i'm willing to do the same thing to the person that made you cry. you don't need to explain what happened, but i'll be here. tell me when i need to fix a bitch."

jane smiled warmly at lucas. "thank you for that, lucas. even though you embarrassed him, i'm more than grateful that you were there for me.. and i'm so grateful that you're by my side despite everything." without thinking, she rested her head on his shoulder. "what happened between us is in the past. you don't need to explain yourself anymore. i'm just lucky to have you, even as a friend."

"but that's the thing, jane.. i want to explain myself. it's burdened me. i lie-"

"shut up and look at the sunrise, lucas. it's beautiful, right?"

he sighed slowly. "i lied to you. my parents made me go to paris to study." he felt her head slowly lift off his shoulder, but he continued to look forward — he was scared to see her face. "when i said i never loved you, it was all a lie. i know it's too late, but i'm sorry for giving you so much pain. i'm sorry for walking into your life again. you deserve more than this, jane."

"for years, i wanted to know where i went wrong. every call, every text, they went down the drain.. i-i blamed myself.." jane said.

"i'm sorry.." lucas' voice broke. "scream at me, punch me, cry at me. i deserve it all. i'm glad you found someone to treat you right."

jane's gut wrenched. yuta wasn't treating her right at all. she quickly dismissed the thoughts of yuta pouring into her head.

to lucas' surprise, he felt two arms wrapping around him tightly.

"most people would be angry at what you did, but i don't want to be angry at you anymore. i'm tired of all this anger. i want to start again."

"you do?" lucas looked down to her, a little tear escaping his eye.

"yes. i'm jane ong, and you are?"

lucas was a little hesitant at first, but a smile etched onto his face.

"i'm lucas wong, nice to meet you."

once again, jane rested her head onto his shoulder and looked up at the sun that was now moving up quickly.

"can you believe it's almost 5am?" lucas asked, being disrupted by chirping birds.

"i guess time flies when you're happy. it certainly did for me."

(a/n i love a bit of jane x lucas, so this chapter was deadass all about them)