Who to Choose? ~BadBoy!Suga X Fem!Reader X Player!RM~

Chapter 47 - Returning Anew

Your POV

I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

I couldn't remember any of my childhood. It had never even occurred to me until I was really thinking about it. I couldn't remember anything before my parents'--rather, Jungkook's parents'--accident. I had never even considered the possibility. Still, in the back of my mind, I knew he was right. There was something about how he said it, how he looked, and how I couldn't remember, that solidified it to truth.

And it had been left untold for over ten years.

Ten years.

Ten years.

Ten years.

He'd held it back from me for a decade.

My head was placed in my hands, and it hadn't left that position since hours ago. I hadn't eaten in days. No matter how much Jungkook tried to make me, I didn't. I couldn't. I had tried once. It only made me feel sick, the flavor like ash in my mouth. I only got up to go to the bathroom. While sitting, I would either sleep or stare at nothing. There was nothing else I could do. My body barely moved. Even when I was screaming at it to do something, it didn't move. It moved when my brain was killing itself.

"(Y/N)?"

The kindest voice that had begged me to love myself.

The softest voice that had been there to comfort me.

The broken voice that had delivered this awful truth.

Jungkook.

"What?" I reply, my voice rough and quiet.

"Please... It's been three days. Eat something..."

I could hear the breaks and cracks in his voice. He had been crying. A lot.

"I can't watch you kill yourself. Not over this. Please. Please. Don't make me--" --He hiccups-- "--don't make make me hate myself."

Give it to me. I'll eat.

I roll over.

"(Y/N), please."

I want to eat. Move, body.

I curl into a ball.

"I know I held it back for so long but please. I will beg you and do anything you want. Just don't die."

His voice was breaking, and I could feel his hands on my torso.

"Please."

Jungkook, help me, please.

"Go away, Jungkook."

No! Don't believe me! Stay, please!

"I can't watch you kill yourself," he sobs, his grip tightening. "I won't. I won't let you starve or be alone. Hate me, kill me, curse my name. I don't care if we're not related by blood. I love my little sister. I love you."

Tears fall from my eyes, and the despair lets me take control. I roll to face him, sitting up to hug him so tightly that we can feel each other's sobs vibrating off the other. His arms wrap around me in a strong, comforting embrace. We cried onto our shoulders. Ten years of emotions bottled up in him. Ten years of emotions I hadn't known I had. It was all flowing out in that moment. No more words were spoken. Just cries filled the room as we trembled and gripped each other like we might lose the other if we stopped.

~~~~~

I don't know when I fell asleep. All I know: I woke up, lying down, with Jungkook hugging me to death. My eyes stung from crying so much and my throat felt dry. Breathing was difficult, but I didn't want to break away from him. I lightly nudge his shoulder. His eyes shoot open and he looks down to meet mine.