Contronym

Chapter 36

I was anxious.

And not for the reason you might be thinking.

It was the piece of paper that was sitting on my coffee table. The mail had come an hour ago and I had spent my Saturday just starring at the envelope on the glass table of my living room. The television was on in the background, but I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear it anymore.

I was hunched over on the edge of my couch with my elbows on my knees and my interlocked fingers forming a fist that rested against my lips. Dad had gone out fishing with his friends but even he was eagerly awaiting the letter. I told him that I would tell him the second it got here, but I had yet to call him because he would immediately ask what it said and I didn't have the willpower to look just yet.

Winter break had gone by smoothly and it seemed that most of the rumors had died down by the time I returned last monday. I was grateful for that at least. But even that thought couldn't distract me from my current predicament.

The fate of my future relied on that paper and I wasn't ready to have a dream shattered. Despite the fact that I had gone in expecting the worst, a part of me still had hope and I was scared to death of that hope disappearing.

I was over reacting. If I didn't make the team, my life wasn't over. I still had college to worry about. My mind still couldn't shake the feeling that this was huge, though. The tryout had gone good in my opinion but, there was no telling what could have factored into the final decision. I was a woman, after all.

I was pulled from my thought bubble with the sound of my doorbell ringing through the air. My head snapped up and a second later I heard Finn's voice. "Hurry the hell up, Sylvia. This is important." He sounded desperate enough so I forced myself to get off the couch, much to my sore muscles protest. Sitting in the same position for an hour probably wasn't my best choice.

Either way, I made my way to the front door and opened it to reveal a breathless looking Finn. "Did you just run a mile or something?" I asked bewildered at his frazzled face. His hair looked good as hell but his expression was one of shock. This was the second time in two weeks he showed up at my doorstep without a damn jacket. But to be honest, that seemed to be the last thing on his mind right now.

"No. I'm just really anxious. I drove here actually." He said gesturing to the Range Rover in my driveway. At least he gained some common sense. I moved to let him in.

"You need to work out more then, because you look pretty breathless." I noticed the envelope that his hand was being clutched like death. "I assume it has something to do with that. Did you open it?"

"Did you open yours?" He asked cautiously.

I shook my head 'no' and closed the door before heading back into the living room. Finn followed after slipping off his shoes. I picked the paper up off the glass table and sat down on the couch, going back into my crouched position. Finn mimicked me and took a seat to my left.

"You made it. I know you did." I said without looking away from the envelope with my name and address on it.

"I'm not so sure. I think you made it though." He replied. Finn seemed like the envelope in his hands was sucking his soul, it held his attention so well. "Here. Open mine." He said and shoved the envelope into my hands. "I can't do it. You do it and give me the bad news."

I bit my lip hesitantly. I couldn't open mine either. "Fine. You open mine. Better I get the news from you." I replied and handed him my envelope.

I angled my body so my left leg was on the couch and my right was hanging off. My body was facing his. He turned himself slightly so we could face each other. "On three." He said.