Contronym

Chapter 44

"Were you guys going for round two last night? Because I'm pretty sure I heard screaming and whimpering last night around 3am." Aiden asked when we all sat down for breakfast.

I resisted the urge to slap him after Finn and I shared a long glance across the wooden table because we both know that was not what was happening. That was probably the furthest thing from when happened. In actuality, I woke up from a blood curling nightmare and let out a scream that I muffled into high pitched whimpering cries. I suppose the crying portion didn't make its way through the thin walls leaving a lot to the imagination. I didn't have to respond to him though because Jameson hit him in the side of the head for me. I don't think he knew what was happening but he probably assumed I was just sick of having my sex life on broadcast.

Games started today but we didn't play until one so we all took our time in making our way down to the buffet breakfast. We all had coffees and different versions of eggs with fruit on the side. Coach might murder us if he saw us grab a carb or a sugary juice. God forbid.

It seemed that everyone else had already eaten because the hotel breakfast area was cleared with the exception of two or three people who weren't part of the tournament. I ate in silence while everyone else joked around and talked. I wasn't in the mood for conversations this morning.

It had been a tough night and the events from yesterday were still fresh in my head. The whole ordeal seemed to just refresh my trauma. I felt like I did the day after it actually happened. Like I couldn't do anything other than think about it. I didn't even want to play today but I would have to suck it up for the team. I wouldn't let them down because I was having a moment. That's exactly what New Canaan and Darien wanted from me.

But just because I was playing didn't mean I was socializing. Instead I just listened in on the guys. I just didn't have the willpower to participate.

Finn wouldn't admit it, but I could tell he was a little tired too. His eyes had slight bags under them and he had a little bit of a five o'clock shadow showing. His movements were sluggish and he had downed two cups of coffee before breakfast was even over. Between our late night outing and my nightmare, we probably only got a few hours of sleep each. I felt guilty but then again I couldn't control it so my guilt wasn't too heavy on my conscience.

"Sylvia? Are you feeling alright?" Chris asked, snapping me out of my trance. I already knew Finn had been watching me the whole time but now all of them were eyeing me. I had been pushing my food around my plate and not eating much of it. Chris must have noticed.

I looked up to see meet Finn's green eyes across from me at the round table. They always had a calming affect on me. Sam sat to his right and Chris to his left. I was sandwiched between Aiden on my right and Jameson on my left. "I'm fine." I mumbled disinterestedly. I saw Sam hesitantly open his mouth to speak but I shut him down. "I don't want to talk about it. Okay? I'm just going to go to the gym." I said harsher than intended before rising from my seat and walking out of the breakfast hall with the feeling all five pairs of eyes on me.

I took in a deep breath through my nose and exhaled as I entered the gym. I had on my pinny and spandex that I only wore for a few hours yesterday on so I didn't need to stop by the room to change. The hotel gym was small and average for a place like this. There were three treadmills and a few machines as well as some weights on a rack. I didn't pay attention to the other people in the gym at all, I went straight to the treadmill.

Even if I wasn't the fastest runner, it distracted me from my thoughts and allowed me to escape reality for a moment. I let my mind get lost in no time. I'm not sure how long I ran for but it must not have been long because my legs weren't screaming in agony by the time I heard the gym door open. My eyes flicked up to the mirror in front of me as I watched Finn and Jameson walk into the room.