Mr. Harry Styles

7 The conscience

I made a choice that night. Harry was asleep and I was behind his back and I had my arms around his body. It was the first time as we both were naked. I didn't touch his lower part, and I kept my arms around his over body. I had my nose against his hair and breathed in his fragrances. It was right there I made that choice. I wanted to be with Harry. For me it didn't matter if he was a man or a woman. I wanted him as a person. His face would be the same, and his thoughts would be the same, although he underwent a change. It was as if I finally found myself. By Harry I understood how I should live life. I needed him and I wouldn't be that stupid boyfriend who turned his back to him. Although he changed his gender, he would be he, or she, or it. What did it matter? I loved him.....

****

In the morning I was awakened by the sound from Harry as was in the kitchen. I felt the smell from bacon and eggs. It was as if he knew that Niall Horan needed food and I felt some luck over that. I took a shower and put on my clothes. It was like a dream when I peeked into the kitchen. Harry stood by the stove and he had his back against me. The first thought that popped up was: What about when he changed the gender? But at the same time I knew that he would be the same. Neither he nor I could change him.

"I love you!"

The words just flowed out from my mouth. It was an equally big shock to him as it was for me. Harry turned abruptly around and just stared at me. Maybe that was a mistake, so early to talk about what I felt? Still, it felt right.

"I love you Harry..." I proceeded smoothly and I got up a smile. "I love you as a person and I want to accompany you through life."

He swallowed and it was as if he had to think.

"Niall, that's strong words?"

I nodded and I stepped into the kitchen. I didn't let him go with my eyes and I chose to be Niall, the man who knew what he wanted to say.

"Is it hard to be loved?" I asked, just to prove that it was genuine. Harry swallowed again and he hesitated.

"No, but we haven't really gotten to know each other?"

I smiled and I sucked in my confidence.

"You said yesterday that you were afraid that I would leave you. Today, I'm telling you that I'm ready to stand behind you. Is it so hard to let me say those words, that I want you forever and I love  you?"

He hesitated.

"Niall it's not the same for...?"

I laughed a little and I looked down at his body. He only had on a pair of soft pants and I loved what I saw.

"It's the same thing." I managed to get up. "We need each other and I want to be the man who stands behind you."

Harry hesitated.

"It's more than about standing behind me?"

I walked up to him and I took my arms around his waist. I looked straight into his eyes and I liked that moment as we now had. It was as if we needed to talk about it, but only in our way.

"You can't put on high heels."

Harry frowned and took his arms around my shoulders.

"Why not?"

I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"You're tall and I'm short...."

Harry came up with a faint smile, and he cocked his head.

"So you need to worry about a girlfriend as are longer than you?"

I raised an eyebrow and moaned a little.