The Only Reason☁︎ a.i

The Only Reason

I can't do it.

It's too hard.

It's too much pressure.

I can't control it.

"Knock knock."

"Alex!" I got up from my bed and yelled. He started laughing.

"Ok. You have got to stop doing that." I said.

"Why? It's fun."

"I could be half naked and you just walk in here."

Silence.

"So I was wondering if I could take you out tonight."

"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't."

"What. Am I not good enough for you to be seen in public with?" He said.

"What are you talking about? Of course not! You know that's not true!"

"Oh, really. Then how come we always stay home?"

"You picked to do that! Not me!" I yelled.

"Fine. I never actually wanted to go out anyways." Alex mumbled as he went down the stairs. I walked out of my room to follow him.

"You're a waste of my time. You know that? What Michael said was right. You don't give a shit about me! You don't care! If that's how it always was then why'd you want to have sex anyway? Huh?"

The tears running down my face were unbelievable. It was just like the time I broke up with Ash. He wasn't talking. Just standing there with his hand on the doorknob, looking at the floor. Exactly like Ashton.

"Get the fuck out my house."

***********

I was alone again. And I had just lost my boyfriend and best friend.

"I'm such a dumbass." I said to myself.

I went ahead and got my car keys to go to Calum's place. I had nowhere else to be. No one else to belong to. I was useless. Hopeless. Nothing.

Dead.