He's been here for 8 mother fucking months! I rubbed my temples before putting my head in my hands. "What have you been doing for the past 2 friggin years" I said while keeping my head down. "I came to the school a couple times, just to see how you were doing, you never really noticed me which was a good thing. About 5 months after i left um Harry was arrested for murder"
Ryder's P.O.V
Lexi snapped her head up looking me directly in the eyes. "Murder? Who" she asked continuing to stare at me. "I-I don't know" I coughed clearing my throat. "LIAR you stutter when you lie" Lexi said pointing a finger at me. "He um killed my dad 3 and half years ago and the police finally got proof that it was him." i said looking down. "I thought your dad left you guys?" Lexi asked sitting beside me on the bed. "Lexi no matter how bad my parents fights got, in the end they still loved each other. He would have never left us if he didn't have too. Harry's father tried to kill my mother and I about 4 years ago and my dad killed him. Now i know what you're thinking but my dad wasn't a murderer he would have never killed him if he didn't have too. Harry wanted revenge so my father packed his bags and left before Harry got the idea to kill us" A stray tear fell from my face onto my lap, Lexi must have noticed because she grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together."Lex I'm so fucking sorry I left you like that, I just i guess felt the need to protect you after Harry took you." I felt more tears begin to pool in my eyes, god dammit Ryder hold it together."Ryder i want to forgive you but i just cant, you honestly ruined everything for me. I failed grade 10! i havent talked to my family in 2 months, I used to talk to them everyday! I have depression, do you even realize how hard that is? I hardly want to get out of bed, even when something good happens in my life which is rare, I cant be happy about it because I just cant be happy. Ryder my life's shit! You caused that I used to be the quite girl who got good grades, talked to my family everyday, sure my life wasn't perfect back then but Ryder it was good. But YOU changed that when you just got up and left." she said quietly "Lex you don't have to forgive me right now, but can you at least let me try to show you that what I've done is forgivable" She deeply sighed before hesitantly nodding, i gave her a reassuring squeeze on her hand before she got up and walked to her closet. "I've been keeping a stash of money here, just like tips and birthday/ Christmas money, for when something like this happened" she spoke softly while grabbing a small box. She opened it and counted, "$6000" she com firmed to herself. That should get me by for a while, stay in a motel until i can find a new place i guess" she walked over and stuffed the box into the bottom of her bag. "I am uh staying in a motel a couple blocks from here and uh its pretty cheap and not to gross." I don't know why i feel so nervous around her right now. I have the urge to tell her what I've been doing in New York but i decide against it knowing she wont give me another chance if she were to find out.
Lexi's P.O.V
Ryder led me down to the motel hes been staying at, "why exactly don't you have like an apartment if you've been living here for 8 months" i asked. "I-It's not safe to stay in the same place, I like to move around." he stuttered. I decided i probably didn't want to know what the truth was so i let it go. Relief flashed threw his eyes when i didn't question him further and that some what scared me. Ryders phone started ringing loudly when we reached the entrance to the motel, he looked at the number before shoving it back in his pocket. I raised an eyebrow "avoiding someone" i slightly smiled. Ryder shook his head while smiling back at me, his being much wider then mine. I booked a room for a week only costing me $267 which was perfect. Ryder has been acting strange since he got that phone call, and I was getting more and more curious as time passed. "Okay spill" I said sitting on the motel bed beside a distracted Ryder. "Hmm?" He asked looking extremely confused. I raised an eyebrow "who's the person have avoided 3 calls from, and yes i noticed when you shut your ringer off the second time" I slightly smiled. He shook his head" You wont want to be around me if i tell you Lex" He mumbled under his breath."Yeah no, I tolled you all about the depression, the beatings, all that shit now its your turn to fess up bud" I was not letting him get out of this one. He dramatically sighed "Come on Lexi, I just got you to talk to me again I am not loosing you that soon". "Okay seriously you are just digging yourself deeper and deeper into this hole, give me some credit Ryder, you know ill let you explain no matter how bad it is". He dragged his hands down his face before looking at me, Grabbing my hands in the process which i almost rejected but decided against it.He took a deep breath " Okay so basically after Harry got arrested I decided I needed to something with my life, even though the decision i have made isn't really the best one." he paused slightly before continuing. "I have joined what some would call a "gang" and" I cut him off by bursting out laughing. I fell backwards onto the bed from laughing so hard, once i came down from my high I looked at Ryder who had an unamused look on his face. "Your joking right?" I said a huge smile still on my face. He shook his head while running a hand threw his already disheveled hair. "You joined a frigging gang? What the hell" i shouted. "You said you'd let me explain" he slightly glared at me. "Sorry" i said putting my hands up as if surrendering. "About 7 months ago i was really ruffing it, I barely had enough money to eat , this guy came up to me one night while i was outside of a motel. He said that he has seen me struggling which i think is actually really creepy but i kept listening to him. He tolled me i looked like i could be trusted and he tolled be about this gang that he was a part of, he tolled me how much money they make, by yes selling drugs. Don't give me that look like I'm a fucking idiot okay? I know i am its just at the time i was really struggling and i couldn't go home because my mom basically hates me for leaving for New York and so as you know i said i would do it." He paused taking a deep breath before continuing as I just starred at him. "About a month after the guy had giving me the job, i had gone to every meeting, I've met everyone apart of the gang which isn't many, and i had learned all the drugs, the buyers, and the suppliers. They tolled me i was finally ready to start selling, and holy shit I am making a lot of money. But stuffs been rough at the moment because another gang in town is upset with us due to the fact that we are making a hell of a lot more money then them" he finally finished as i just kept starring to lost at words to say anything to him. "Please say something, anything" He pleased running his hand threw his hair again. "Are you fucking stupid" I said finally forming words, I stood up and paced part of the small room. "Lexi", "No shut up, i listened to you now its my turn to talk." He immediately stopped talking and just looked at me."You joined a GANG?! out of all the stupid things you have down that is number two out of them. Number one being you leaving but well talk about that later. Do you even realize what type of shit can happen to you? You could get caught and be put in jail, or even better you could me murdered? Did you even think of the cons of doing this? or were you to messed up in the fucking head" I uttered. "Yes okay? i thought of all that shit, i also thought about you, i thought about having this conversation with you over a million times. Lex i have thought about a lot of shit over the past 2 years and no matter how much i tried to not think about you, your face just managed to pop into my head, every time i sold drugs or was out late drinking or doing whatever, YOU were the one that came to my mind, with your stupid little adorable face scolding me". Not letting my brain catch up to my heart i walked over to Ryder and attached my lips to his.
