love me now, touch me now, just let me love you

section 13 - don't leave me

"Ah, my teddy bear!" Jimin exclaimed, running over to Seulgi and picking her up, spinning her around in his arms. "My baby," he said, setting her down and burying his face in her hair.

Seulgi beamed, so happy to see her boyfriend again. "Jimin-ah, I'm so glad to see you!"

He locked lips with her, unable to keep the huge smile off his face even as he did so. "I looooove you," he sang, taking her head in his hands and bringing her face closer so he could kiss her forehead. "You're my baby and I'll never let you go."

Seulgi smiled. "Jimin!" she laughed, looking up at him. "You're the cutest mochi there is."

"You're the cutest anything there is in the whole wide universe. Just look at that smile," he said, taking her chin in between his two fingers and lifting it. "You're so beautiful," he smiled, staring at her in the most admirable way.

That man was a diamond in the rough.

*

Later was the awards show, and Jimin went, happy to see Seulgi and meet here there, but there was only one thing.

She wasn't even there to begin with in the first place.

He texted her out of worry, as he saw all of the other Red Velvet members there, and when she didn't answer, he called over and over.

Seulgi still didn't answer. It was so unlike her.

During one of the performances, Jimin excuses himself from the table they sat around and escaped to the bathroom, still trying to solve the mystery. Then he got a call from Joy.

"Jimin, I saw you go in the bathroom and I needed to tell you — Seulgi got in a major car accident and is at the hospital right now. That's why she's not here."

*

Jimin sat on the bench later, outside of the hospital room she was in, tears streaming down his face.

What was he supposed to do if she wasn't okay in the end when it was all over?

The worst part was that the glass doors to the room she was in were clear and he could see through anytime he wanted, so it was his choice if he would dare to look back and check on his aein, blood everywhere, or not.

When one doctor came out, he informed Jimin, "She's losing a lot of blood. Her one leg is broken and she can barely breathe, even with the oxygen mask on. We think one of her ribs might've broken, causing one of her lungs to collapse. We're trying as hard as we can, but..... but she might not make it, sir. We're so sorry. I promise we're trying everything we can." Then he walked back in the room.

Jimin stood up and bolted down the hallway and made his way all the way back to the hotel. He stood on the porch which overlooked the large city below, sobbing, unable to catch his breath or stop the tears from flowing. Then he screamed, grabbing his hair in frustration and angrily slamming his hands down on the railing, his fists latched around the metal bar tight.

"What did I do to deserve this?!" he yelled, looking up to the sky. "You can't do this! She's the love of my life! You can't take her away from me. Not yet at least," he said, his voice getting quieter as he continued.

"We need to get married, have children, grow old together..... how don't You understand that?"

He looked down at the busy city, so far down from where he stood, probably at least a quarter of a mile down.

He continued to sob uncontrollably, letting the tears fall all the way down to the street, not even bothering to wipe them away at that point. That was the least of his concerns at that moment.

He wanted to jump.

And that's what he would do.

He couldn't handle more of this stress and emotion and fear. Fear of what was to happen next, fear of going on without her, fear of what kind of downward spiral it would send him into — he was useless enough while they were separated for a while, so much so that he may as well not have been a part of the world.

Jimin wanted to jump down from that railing and kill himself, because he couldn't handle any of the stress anymore.

He loved his hyungs as much as he loved Seulgi, just in a different kind of way, and he loved dancing and singing and being an idol but at the same time it was hell to be an idol. It might've been worth it, it might've not, but either way — it was hell.

He'd gone through so much in the last year or two, he was just done.

And it was as simple as that.

Jimin jumped up onto the top of the railing, sitting on the edge. His heart raced as he continued to cry, but he didn't know why he felt scared.

Just do it, Jimin. You would regret it later if you don't.

He breathed faster and faster as he let go more and more, then jumped off, but held onto the railing with his hands.

This is it.

I can't get back up at this point.

There's no turning back now.