mi amor | jungkook AU

xi

my heartbeat was racing faster as i anticipated for the response. i heard the footsteps to the door come faster, and then jungkook opened the door. "oh, amor?"

i smiled at him, "hi."

"hi."

i wasn't sure if i should've asked the question now, or to wait a little longer... at least until he asked me to come in — if he asked. we stood there for a five seconds smiling and looking at anything else but each other. he started fumbling his hands and mustered, "um... come inside."

i took a seat on his bed and waited for him to take a seat, or stand, or something. i just waited until he seemed comfortable. "what's up?" he asked. i went blank for a moment. maybe i started panicking a little too. i kept opening and closing my mouth, unsure on how to word my question, and unsure on if i really wanted to ask it.

in the end, i decided to tell it out like word vomit, not caring about how i said it, "last night — we — what happened? hoseok and i were alone talking about you and then we were alone — technically not really we had hoseok and jin passed out with us — but still. i..."

i went from maintaining eye contact with jungkook to looking at everything except him. his gaze was still on me though. i felt it. heat fell over me, and i wanted to cover my face or leave or something. it was silent.

when the silence lasted a little longer than it felt it should've, i looked over at him. he was still staring at me. the eye contact between us came back. i spoke again, more quietly, "yoongi said that if i wanted to know that it would be between taehyung, namjoon, and you."

jungkook broke the eye contact. he said almost the exact same thing namjoon asked, "what are you curious about?" i took a deep breath. i wasn't sure what i wanted to know. i just knew that waking up to him next to me felt normal. then, i was told that hoseok asked about jungkook and that i was left alone with him for pretty much the remainder of the night.

"what did we do?" i felt stupid for asking that. it was like we had sex or something. again, i looked away, embarrassed that i had asked the question. jungkook hummed.

"we talked like we always did."

that response wasn't detailed enough. "about?" i asked.

"i asked you about what you said to hoseok. i was curious. was i drunk? no. was i a little tipsy? yes."

"but could you recall the memory?"

he didn't respond to me. the tapping of his fingers made me call out his name once more, "jungkook."

"yes. maybe. i think."

i thought about my next words carefully... "what did i say?" if i was satisfied with my answer, or not, it didn't matter. i wanted to know what i said.

he answered, "you told me i was a good friend." i wasn't satisfied with my answer. it didn't feel full. we didn't say much after that...

"i did?"

"yeah..."

"oh... okay."

he hummed as the conversation was coming to a quick close. thanking him, i left his room and said good bye to the rest of the guys. i took my keys back from yoongi and went home.

the car ride felt off. going into my house felt off. something about today was off and i didn't know what. i just knew that it didn't feel off until jungkook told me that i considered him a good friend.

it wasn't wrong. i do consider him a good friend, so i'm confused as to why the answer didn't feel right.