mi amor | jungkook AU

xxxii

"my goodness, amor." yoongi sighs. i hug him tightly. "i love you, minmin." i coo in his ear. a small "you're so drunk" tumbles out his mouth, but i don't understand it.

i loved jungkook, but that love hurt. that love hurt so much. i should've stayed with minmin instead. minmin wouldn't hurt me... not intentionally... but  kookie didn't mean to hurt me too... did he? we "broke up" almost two weeks ago. this drinking every night thing sure is tiring.

"mori?" yoongi snapped me from my thoughts. "yes, oppa?" i asked. he flinched a little but regain a composure, "you're talking out loud..." i nod my head, still not processing what he's saying.

i miss jungkook, but i can't stand looking at him. he's an idiot. i loved that idiot. minmin is a better idiot. "please don't call me an idiot, mori." yoongi says. "i didn't call you an idiot." i tell him. his face contorts to something out of an anime. "what's with the face?" i ask. he shakes his head, "nothing."

i point to a bench and silently command minmin to take us to it. "how drunk are you? aigoo..." he says. i shake my head, "i'm not drunk. i miss jungkook." he shakes his head and starts hitting my head with his knuckle. "you both let it go because you're both idiots." i stick my tongue at his comment.

i stare at the bright street lamp, "jungkook didn't want it. i wasn't going to let him stay in something he wasn't confident in."

yoongi doesn't comment. he does, however, leans me over to his shoulder. "i need to take you home." he tells me. "when jungkook is sleeping." i say. he laughs, "he should be asleep by now. it's 3 in the morning for fucks sake."

"remember the time we fucked?" i blurt out. yoongi stops laughing, "why?" i shrug my shoulders. "why didn't we ever date?" i ask the void, "i've known you for such a long time. i took your virginity. we loved each other, but we didn't date. why? it's not fair."

the whispers of the wind soothe my frantic mind for a moment. things were never fair, were they? "no, it's not... but i loved you, amor. and i know you loved me... just not in the same way." he says. i hold his hand.

"in this moment, right now. please pretend to be my boyfriend of many years. you don't have to, but pretending would be okay... it wouldn't be, but... it would be nice." i whisper.

a soft chuckle escapes his lips, "if you weren't drunk, i'd kiss you."

"why not do it right now?"

"because i said you're drunk."

"what if i made the first move?"

yoongi doesn't say anything. he stares at me in disbelief. "please, don't. you're sad and you're hurting. you're not going to remember anything you're saying right now. you probably don't even mean half the shit you are saying."

the hurt in his eyes strikes my heart and there's a little pang. "if i remember it in the morning," i crack out, "i want to give us a try."

"you don't mean that."

"i do."

"i'd be a rebound, amor."

i didn't say anything. he was right. we both knew it. i'm not thinking anything through. i don't even think i am thinking.

"i'm sorry." i say. yoongi grabs my hand, "i know you are. and if you don't remember this in the morning i won't be scared to say this: i wouldn't mind being a rebound... at least we could've said we dated."

i hum at his words.

silence.

we stay silent for a while.

"yoongi, take me home, please."

- - - -

"min yoongi. min yoongi." i chant. "why is she chanting your name..." i hear one of the boys ask. "i have no clue..."

i am content with life. jungkook is not in my sight. i am laying on clouds and i have my best friend with me. "yoongi!" i shout. "i'm right here. you don't have to shout for me aigoo..." he pops up in my view.

i reach for his hand, "i love you, minmin."

"why is she calling you minmin too? you minnie mouse?" hoseok's voice is evident. i know that voice. it is a voice i recognize. that voice. it was a voice-y voice that i do know.

yoongi's hand jerks a little, and hobi muffles something in pain. "get her some water please." yoongi says.

i want to drown in that water.

"i'm not drowning you." yoongi says. what a mind reader. he rolls his eyes.

"sit up now, mor." he helps me back up. i lay my head on his shoulder, and he brings a bottle of water to my lips. "driiiiiink." he coos.

he sounds like me earlier with the soju.

"driiiink" i repeat, though this liquid doesn't burn.

my eyes start dropping. my vision blurs. i can't tell which boy is in front of me anymore. they took turns letting me rest on their shoulders and giving me water.

all i know is that i'm tired and this one kind of looks like jungkook. i call out his name. he responds with, "what?"

and that's when i kiss him.

i kiss jungkook... but it's not jungkook.

it's not jungkook.

it's not...

i know it's not because his lips feel different.

and when i pull away... it really hits that it isn't jungkook.

it's yoongi.

and jungkook is standing at the entry of the hallway. and all i do is say his name. i don't run for him. i don't do anything else. i say his name and i watch him turn away.

i watch taehyung and jimin go after him.

i watch yoongi look back at me with pursed lips, and in his eyes there is something else.

there is something else i will not recognize sober.

it is the recognition that i have hurt someone who loved me in a more than friendly way.

and that is something i will not remember sober.

AUTHORS NOTE: okay wow hey first off i'm like really grateful you guys stuck around this far to read this shitty story haha

i should comment on jungkook and amor but i won't oops?

anyways, i'm thankful for each and everyone of you that has read this far. i love you all