mi amor | jungkook AU

xiv

my heart was racing at a pace my chest couldn't handle. i was on the road trying to focus on which way lead to my house, and when i couldn't handle the pressure that was weighing on me i pulled over. i got out of the car and took deep breaths. i repeatedly told myself there was nothing to worry about, and when that didn't work i just ignored the fact i was panicking and sat on the hood of my car and watched the clouds.

the sun would be setting soon. it was around 4pm. the pressure in my chest still felt tight, but i kept myself busy by walking around the area. it wasn't a shady area, but it was a little empty since it was going to be dark soon. there was another playground on the other side of where i parked. it was just a little down the road. i could see it from where i was standing.

i went to it, and as expected, it was empty.

i sat on one of the spring seesaws. i was barely able to fit, but i sat myself down there anyways. i was already sitting... sike. i got up and went to the swing.

the swing felt like my go-to place. it was like a safe haven for me to be in, even if the rest of the public had access to it. i just had to swing and i would've been left alone. if people came close to me, they would've been kicked and injured. i wasn't swinging, though.

yoongi had messaged me a few times. i didn't bother to check them, and i'm just assuming it was yoongi. i still didn't bother to check. 

my gaze was fixed on the sky. it didn't seem fair that it looked so unreal. whenever i look at them i always see them as a 3D painting. clouds remind me of paintings...

the vibration coming from my jacket, three times, was enough to make me check.

sugasuga: where'd you go?

sugasuga: i'm following you.

hopie: are you okay?

hopie: suga went to go follow you

hopie: i'll beat jungkook's ass for you.

unknown: it's jin. i asked hoseok for your number. are you doing okay?

jin: i hope you're safe

unknown: hi i got your number from jin. i'm sorry. it's jungkook. i didn't mean to scare you. i am so sorry.

yoongi and hoseok's text were from when i was leaving. i responded to three of the four of them. i left jungkook on read. i wasn't sure what to say to him.

"AMOR!" i flinched at the sound of my name. i searched the park to see yoongi at the same end my car was parked. i wasn't sure if i wanted to run or sit there and wait for him to come to me. obviously, i waited. i wasn't in the mood to run anymore. plus, it was yoongi and he was alone.

he ran over to me, but took a seat on one of the benches. sighing, i got off the swing and walked over to him. i rested my head on his shoulder. he rubbed my back, "what happened?" i sighed. the pressure didn't go away, but it felt like it got tighter.

"i... don't know. i was talking to jungkook about the night we were drunk and when he gave me his explanation two weeks ago it felt off. i've been bothered for two weeks and i don't know why. then when i see him again he asked me why the answer felt so off if it was the answer i gave him. and now i'm... i don't know why it felt off. why did it feel off?" i felt like crying, but that felt stupid. i got up and started pacing in front of yoongi.

"i still don't understand." he told me. i gave him the best explanation i could, and then he started laughing. i stopped pacing. "why are you laughing?!" i was frustrated. he waved me off.

"you like him."

i shook my head, "yoongi, i can't like someone i just met."

he nodded his head, "yes, you can. you just don't want to like him because it's been a short period of time."

i scoffed. "if you don't believe me, go on a date with him." he suggested. it was a stupid suggestion and i didn't want it to happen. not after... everything. i shook my head again and sat back down on the bench. i kept my head facing the floor as i confessed to yoongi. "i don't want to like jungkook. i'll admit that much. but if i did, i wouldn't date him anyways because he's your friend and you're mine too. if i dated him it would be a mess." 

i felt his hand go on my back, rubbing it again. "if you date him, it'll be fine. i can finally have a reason to beat him up really bad." he laughed. i couldn't help, but join. the laughing stopped when he brought up jungkook and i going on a date, "just go out with jungkook for one night, and if you enjoy it go out again for another night. you don't have to consider it as a date, but it'll just be you two. alone."

"do i have to?" i whined.

he nodded.

"why can't i just date you?" i asked him.

"because it wouldn't be fair to the both of us, especially for you."

i looked up at him, "what?"

yoongi got up, completely ignoring what had just happened. "you heard me." he said. i was about to talk again when he spoke up once more, "let's go get you a date." i groaned.

----

back in jungkook's room, things were silent. the only noise came from the tiny ticking of his clock on the nightstand. yoongi and jungkook were just outside of the door. their whispers were audible, but not audible enough for me to make them out.

after a few more mumbled words, jungkook came back in. alone.

he walked over to me and took a seat on the opposite side of his bed. "so... uh..." he started out. i perked up, agreeing with him, "uh, yeah. it's weird. i told yoongi i didn't want to, but he i yeah i don't know i mean i don't know but like yeah."

my sentences became meshed.

"wait, you don't want to go on a date?" he asked. his face went from nervous to disappointment. he found a sudden interest in the creases of his sheets. was he actually okay with going on a date? wait. he called it a date. a date. oh my,

"i want to go on the date." i told him. 

his head perked up, "what?"

"let's go on a date." i repeated.

a smile formed on his face, "really?"

a smile formed on my face as well.

"really."