The Loki Chronicles: Treasured Moments

Moment 8: "I Don't Want To Go" (June 25, 2018)

Loki had come over on a Friday night for supper and a movie marathon. Sitting on the couch in the living room, we ate pizza, munched on popcorn (and occasionally threw some at the TV during certain scenes) along with making our own commentaries. It was a lot of fun, but then considering who my friend was, fun was his forte! However, what was most enjoyable to me, was seeing these classic films through my friend's eyes.

It was into the wee hours when we finished, and I suggested Loki sleepover for the night. He had no qualms with my suggestion. As he had become a semi-frequent guest, we made sure to store some personal items here for such occasions. Once I set up the couch for him to sleep, I gave him a warm hug, then left him to his own devices as I got myself ready for bed.

***************

I don't know how long a time I was sleeping, but I soon heard my name being cried out loudly.

"Beverlee? BEVERLEE!"

It was Loki - and he sounded really scared...

I grabbed my robe off the end of the bed, and slipped it on, then opened my bedroom door. He was still calling my name, and I rushed into the living room.

I found him sitting on the end of the couch with his legs tucked up to his chest and his arms around them. He was shaking.

"Loki, what's wrong?" I asked softly, with much concern. Sitting beside him, I took his abandoned blanket and put it around his shoulders.

Loki looked at me, and I could see glistening moisture in his eyes. He changed his position, moving to put his feet on the floor, then reached out and pulled me into a very intense hug.

"Beverlee," he whispered, his voice very shaky, "I-I had a most terrible nightmare."

"Easy, now," I said soothingly, gently stroking his back, "you're safe, it's over." I noticed it was taking some time for my friend to calm himself, "it must have been some nightmare for you to call out to me."

"It was," he said, continuing to cling to me, "it felt... so real."

"I don't doubt that," I said, still feeling him trembling, "it's okay, Loki. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." I thought for a moment, "perhaps you could tell me about it? It might help you feel better." I released the hug enough so we could look at each other.

My friend swallowed hard, and took a deep breath, "I...I died."

"You died?" I clarified.

He nodded.

"I was fighting Thanos," Loki began to explain, "he got hold of me in his large hands... I was helpless, I couldn't find a way to escape. He was squeezing the life out of me..." he closed his eyes, "I tried my knives, illusions, but nothing was working..." he looked downward, "everything went black, but I could sense after you were looking for me, and were... well, you... couldn't... find me."

"Oh, Loki," I breathed, now feeling my eyes welling up. I released one of my hands, and gently touched his cheek, "how awful for you to have experienced that... how awful for me if that really had happened."

Loki took back the hand from his cheek with his own, and then looked into my eyes, "I was dead. And knowing... I had left behind the dearest friend I had on Earth..." he didn't finish.

It didn't matter, I pulled him back into another intense embrace. We were both trembling now.

"Loki," I was finding it hard to talk, and tears were blurring my vision, but I pushed myself to do so... I had to, "I suspect you will outlive me. But if a time comes where you... if that ever happens.... while I will be sad, I will have no regrets. Your friendship is a gift, and the memories will forever remain within me," I took a deep breath, "if this ever happens while you are alone... and there is scant time for final thoughts - remember the joy, not the loss."

"And if I'm with you?" he asked in a whisper.

"We will both remind each other of the joy."

We held each other in silence for several minutes.

I soon heard the oddest noise... it was a dull buzzing.

Oh no... no, no, no...

****

I woke up to the sound of my alarm on my smartphone and sat up at attention. The trembling I had experienced in my dream seemed to continue in my reality. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Then an important thought crossed my mind.

Grabbing my robe off the bed, I donned it, along with my slippers, then opened my bedroom door. It was all I could do not to sprint into the living room.

I found Loki was still there - sleeping peacefully on the couch.

I exhaled silently in relief.

On the coffee table, I briefly looked at the DVD case that featured the faces of Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore. It was the last film we watched before going to bed. I smiled to myself while looking at my friend, feeling extremely lucky to have him in my world.

I whispered to him, "Ditto," then walked back to my bedroom.

******

(This story was inspired by Tom Hiddleston's panel at Ace Comic Con in Seattle in June 2018.)